December 5th 2001, Update: BEN is our NEW advice guy.  ( Brit is in college now and very busy)
Your mail will NOT be posted if you say that in your letter, it will be answered privately.

  If you want to read some of Brittany’s old mail, it is below. You can jump ahead to some of Brittany’s other pages, the links are at the bottom of this page.

Here are some of our first ones:

Q: Hi Brit,
I have a crush on a guy and I don’t know how to tell him. He isn’t really popular at school and I am. He has asked me out a couple of times. I’m afraid it’ll ruin my rep if I go out with him. which I know sounds stupid. I have been really rude to him whenever he asks me out. He is really nice and respectful to me, but everyone I know calls him a nerd. I just don’t know what to do or say to him. Can you help me? From Julie

A: Dear Julie,
Is your popularity and reputation the most important thing in life too you? That’s something you should establish first. Your popularity should not be determined by who you date. You are what determines who you hang out with. If your friends can’t except the fact that you’re dating a guy less popular than you and your clique, then they are not true friends. True friends like you for who you are, not who you date or what you wear. Also, if you really like this guy, then nothing should stand in your way of going out with him. Have him start hanging out with you when you go out with friends. Go on “double dates” with other friends and their girlfriend/boyfriend. This can help your friends get to know your love interest. Once they start to talk to him and get to know him, then they may change their minds about how they feel about him. Remember that popular people don’t only have to date popular people. You should date someone you really like, whether your friends like them or not. Your friends should accept your decision on who you date. Most importantly, follow your heart. Nothing can change the mind of your heart. Your heart stays true to you. If you’re crushing on this guy pretty good, I’d say go for it. Don’t worry about what your friends think. All that matters is what you think.  -Brit

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Q. Dear Advice Girl,
I’m obsessed with my old boyfriend. I know I sound like a jerk, but I can’t get him out of my head. I feel like we left a lot of stuff unresolved. I want to talk to him – he went to college, and I want to make peace, but I can’t find him anywhere and am too embarrassed to call his parents and get his number. Any suggestions? Signed, Confused.

A. Dear Confused,
A lot of couples when they break up seem to leave some things unresolved. If you feel that they are problems for you, then I’d say somehow contact him. I’d advise you to call his parents and make conversation with them. Ask them how they’ve been, how your ex-boyfriend is doing, and then explain to them why you called. I’m sure they’ll be understanding. Of all people, they will have his contact information. When you eventually get a hold of him, make it sound like it’s a call to see how he’s been, how his life is, and what he has been up to. Don’t come right out and say, I still feel we have some problems we need to resolve. Work up to it. If it takes a few phone calls and talks to do it, then so be it. It’s not as if you have to solve these problems right now or you’ll die. Some things just take time.

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Q. Hi, do you think to get someone to start liking you you have to play hard to get. From Tiny

A. Dear Tiny,
My opinion is to NOT play hard to get. That will only let that guy/girl think that you don’t like them. It throws them off course. The best way to let someone know you like them is to tell them. That way you’ll be sending the right signals and it won’t confuse them. -Brit

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Q. Dear Brit,
I really like this guy that I work with. We have known each other since second grade, except now I have a lot of feelings for him and we are seniors in high school. What should I do?

A. Dear Laura,
The best relationships are those that start as a friendship. This way you guys know each other very well, so you’re very compatible. Since you two will be going off to college soon, it’s better to let him know now, then to never let him know. Just ask him out on dates, but don’t make it seem like a date. Make it seem like you’re just two friends “hanging out.” When you feel the time is right(and you’ll know when it’s time), let him know how you feel. Tell him that you like him and would like you two to be more than just friends. Let him tell you how he feels, don’t do all the talking, let him voice his opinion. Now remember, things may not go as you planned, but that doesn’t mean you two won’t end up together. Just step up to the plate and pour your heart out to him. -Brit

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Q. Hi Brit, I met a new friend this year and I went to her house. I saw her brother and right then I fell in love with him and he told me he likes me too. I am in 7th grade and he is in 9th. Can you please help me tell him that i want to go out with him and tell him i really like him? – Ashley –

A. Dear Ashley, I just want to start off by saying that getting into a relationship with an older guy is not a good idea. Especially when you are younger. Don’t get me wrong, they can work out, if the guy is really in it for you. Alot of older guys view younger girls as easy meat. You’re easy to persuade, and if you really like the guy, it’s easy for him to talk you into sex. You can say, “Oh, he’s not like that, I just know it,” but you could be wrong. I just want you to give this some thought before you go jumping into this. Now, if you feel that this relationship will work out, then sometimes you have to make the first move. Go out with him to the movies or to dinner. Hang out together, get to know him better. Butter him up for the perfect time, once he’s melting, that’s when you make your move. Ask him out, it may seem weird because you’re younger, but when opportunity comes knocking, answer it. -Brit

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Q. Dear Brit,
I have a problem, I have this real close friend I have known for about 3 years, and well he started liking me and he’s asked me out about hundreds of times until I finally said OK. I really don’t like him, and wanna tell him its over… but how? I really don’t wanna break his heart or anything, he’s so happy we’re together. But I want to keep him as a friend. Is it possible to have him just as a friend without pissing him off or breaking his heart? Thanks, Jen

A. Dear Jen,
First and foremost, don’t be afraid to open up and tell him how you feel. If you don’t like him, let him know. But don’t be ignorant when you break him the news. Be sympathetic. Imagine how he feels. You, this girl he really likes, is telling him news he doesn’t want to hear. Tell him that you feel the two of you were better off as friends, and you don’t mean to hurt him. You have to understand how he feels, he may not want to still be friends, so just expect there to not be a friendship at the end of this. I’m not saying that there won’t be, because there could. He could even want to take a break from being friends to think things over. Remember that true friends are understanding. You know it’s over if he doesn’t like one word he’s hearing from you and wishes that you guys were never friends to begin with. ~Brit

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Q. Hey Brit,
I’ve got this friend who wont stop dressing like I do. She buys whatever she sees me wearing. My mom said it means she thinks I have cool stuff, but I just cant stand it anymore. How do I tell her to stop without hurting her feelings??? Hilary

A. Dear Hilary,
As hard as it may seem, you’re going to have to somehow break the news to her. Let her know that you do not like how she copies your style. She may not realize she’s doing it, or she feels that you have good style, but you have to let her know that it’s not the clothes that make the person. It’s the person that makes the person. People may like her less because they see she comes to school as your twin. She might take this hard, but let her know that you’d gladly go shopping with her to help her find her true style. Or even show her the tricks of the trade, because she may not know how to dress, and could be using her as her model. She follows you so she knows she’s “in.” It’s not always that case, but be sure to be nice about the situation, you don’t want to hurt her feelings, but you want to make sure she understands you. -Brit

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Q. Brit,
I really like this guy and we’re going out. When I’m with him, I tend to go farther than I intend to because I like him so much. The problem is, we don’t talk about things I want to talk about and I don’t feel as comfortable with him as I do with my friends.. What’s wrong? Or am I just worrying too much? Should I break up with him? Michelle

A. Dear Michelle,
Know your own limits. If you’re uncomfortable with some of the things you do with your guy, then stop doing them. Also, be sure to talk this over with your boyfriend. He should be very understanding about the whole situation. Tell him your not ready, and though it may seem like it, it was just your hormones taking over. The moment of truth is when he tells you how he feels. If he thinks that what you told him was a bunch of crap, then that will let you know to break off your relationship with him. If he does understand what you mean and accepts your decisions, then he’s a keeper. Not all guys will go with your way of thinking. Don’t be shy to open up a new folder in your guys’ relationship. These types of conversations can make your relationship stronger. -Brit

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Q. My problem is that recently I’ve been seeing a guy, (not dating), but the problem is that he’s 33 years old. Reality check: I’m only 16. What should I do? My biggest concern is whether he only wants to date me to have sex with me. Help, From Rachel

A. Dear Rachel,
Girl, I have three words for you…You are CRAZY! For one, what you are doing with that guy is illegal. You are not even of legal age yet and he could be arrested for statutory rape. The second thing is you know that he is only dating you for the sex, that right there tells you that your relationship with that guy is wrong. He may be nice and sweet to you, but he’s only using it to get you to bed. Don’t let it fool you. Think about what you are doing for a moment. Wouldn’t you much rather date someone closer to your age? Do your parents know? God forbid if they do. I don’t mean to sound like I’m criticizing you, but a 16 year old dating a 33 year old? He is just jailbait. Think about your situation. I would break of the relationship if I were you, but it’s up to you. Just be sure you make the right decisions. 🙂 -Brit 🙂

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Q. Hi Brittany,
I don’t have a date for the prom and I want to go by myself. I bought a really hot dress already. My friends say it is dorky for me to go alone. We are allowed to go without a date. What should I do & tell my friends? Thanks – Kellie

A. Dear Kellie,
There is nothing wrong with going to prom alone. It seems that everyone makes a big deal out of having a date, but it’s not the end of the world. Go with a group of friends, you should have as much fun with them, as you would with a date. People go to homecoming with out dates. I have. I had tons of fun. You didn’t have to restrict yourself to dancing with one guy either. You had your choice. Homecoming is no different that prom, prom is just more for upper classmen who pay q a little extra money to have a nicer dance. Don’t worry about what your friends say, if you want to go alone, then don’t let anyone stop you. Just remember to be careful afterwards and Have Fun! -Brit

New posts are on the bottom of page, if you have seen these… If there is a * in front of it, then it was something that we thought was very important.

Q. Hi Brit, I’m still a virgin at twenty years old and I am kinda embarrassed to even write that. I’ve been looking for a girlfriend for a while now but it seems as though everyone that I think might have something in common with me, they’re either involved in a relationship already, or they blow me off when they find out I am not experienced in bed. Will I ever find someone? Thanx, Justin

A. Justin, I actually think that it’s pretty cool you’re still a virgin at 20. These days it seems relationships are all about sex. Any girl that turns you down because of your lack of bed experience is definitely not for you. Don’t think that you won’t ever find your true love. You’re only twenty, you still have a whole life ahead of you. Don’t get so worried over the fact that you don’t have a girl. Just keep looking, I know she’ll pop up somewhere. Any girl that turns you down because you’ve never had sex yet, must be crazy. Relationships are about so much more that sex. Just keep looking, she’s out there somewhere waiting for you!! -Brit

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Q. Dear Advice Girl, Hi, I like this guy but he does drugs and my dad had to take him to the hospital because they got a call from this lady saying he’s passed out on her front lawn (my dad’s an EMT). He’s a real cutie, but this is his second time doing this, and he also was drinking. I don’t know what to do!! Can you help me? Signed, Mel

A. Dear Melanie, My suggestion is to not take your relationship with this guy any further. He may be a cutie, but is that all he has going for him. He already drinks, he does drugs, the next thing you know, he’ll be getting you involved in all of this. You definitely would not want that to happen. If this guy were to clean up his act and quit drinking and smoking, then I’d say work with him to stay clean and maybe your relationship could work out. But for now, stay clear of him. -Brit

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Q. Dear Brit, I’m kind of confused, and I was wondering if you could help me out with something.. you see, I went to prom with this guy recently, and he was extremely nice to me.. I became interested in him and told my friends about it. I don’t know if he found out about this or what, but his attitude towards me has changed. He is very friendly to the point of flirtation with other girls in my class, but now when I try to communicate with him his responses are always curt, and he otherwise ignores me. I find this strange because he used to talk with me a lot as well. Could it be that he is somehow trying to say that he is not interested in me? I am very confused, because this has happened once before where a guy friend I’ve liked just starts ignoring or disliking me.. am I doing something wrong? Please help. -Jen

A. Dear Jen, Guys are very confusing creatures!! There are a few reasons why this guy could be acting this way. One of them could be that he just doesn’t like you anymore. You guys had a date(prom) and he could have discovered that maybe you’re not his type or just isn’t interested in you. Another reason could be that he’s playing hard to get with you, but I guess he doesn’t realize that it’s actually hurting you. Guys are very weird when it comes to letting girls know that they like them. If it starts to bug you, I’d say something to him. Let him know how you feel, and ask why he’s been acting so cold towards you. This can clear up any confusion.

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Q. Brit, do you have any tips on how ignore gossip?

A. Dear Brisa, There is no one good way to ignore gossip. You just have to learn to fade it out and act like it’s not going on. Another suggestion is, that if the gossip is about you, then as long as you know that it’s not true, then there is nothing to worry about. It’s always nice to have some friends on your side, agreeing with you. You could also confront the person(s) who started the gossip. This could actually take come confidence to help you out. It’s kind of hard to face someone spreading a nasty rumor about yourself. Once you do, you’ll feel much better, and besides you knowing that it’s not true, you will have faced a small fear, and you self-esteem will rise. Hope this helps! -Brit

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Q. Hey Brit was up? Well I kind of am in a crisis here. (Not major or anything) but OK, there’s this boy named Kevin and about 5 months ago, he had a horrible haircut and was really…dorky and he asked me out and I said no. Then, the problem was I didn’t want to take the time to get to know him. Well he got his hair cut and his ear pierced (which really doesn’t matter to me) but he does look A LOT cuter and I did finally get to know him not too long ago and he’s a really great person. Well, I think I’m getting a major crush on him. I don’t think he knows how I feel and if he finds out, I don’t want him to freak or anything. Please help me!

A. Dear Katie, First thing’s first, if you like this guy, flirt your butt off! You want him to notice that you like him. Hang out together, just do the normal things that you would do with any guy you like. Before you actually come out and say to him, “Hey, I like you,” take these precautions. Make sure you know he’s into you. Does he flirt back, put his arm around you? Does he in someway touch you(you have a stray piece of hair on your shirt, or a “bug” on you). Try to make note of whether or not he likes you. You surely don’t want to be pouring your heart and soul into letting this guy know you like him and find out he doesn’t like you in return. -Brit

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Q. Dear Brit, Everyone thinks I’m Miss Perfect. I get really good grades, im in the popular group, Im always smiling and Im great at basketball and color guard. This is what Im like outside. But inside I just wanna break away! I hate being Miss Perfect sometimes I just feel like im gonna go crazy! What should I do?

A. Dear Brandy, You’re in luck! I feel the same way. I get good grades, am good at all sports, and I’m a good cheerleader, so everyone thinks I’m Miss Perfect. The thing is, I know I’m not. I make mistakes like anyone else does. And I’m not afraid to admit it. You have to let yourself know that you’re not perfect, you’re just being yourself. Anyone that says anything to you is just jealous. Don’t let it get to you. You know that you’re going somewhere in your life, you have the grades, personality, and all-around goodness to get a good job in the future. The other kids that like to make comments envy your determination. They wish they had the good grades, and they were good at sports, or were really popular. They only say things to you, to try and make themselves feel better. If what they say to you upsets you, confront them, don’t let them know that you think you’re better than them by not talking to them. And to get some of them off of your back, try to help them with their work. If they’re having problems with math or science, then help them. Explain to them. Even better, if you get comments from people that don’t do their work. Pair up with them on labs or assignments and actually make them work. Show them that you need to work to make the grades, and school is only what you make it to be. If someone doesn’t like school and doesn’t care what they will be in life, then of course they’re going to fail some classes. But those who want a good job and a good life in the future are the ones who make the good grades. Don’t get discouraged by their actions and words.

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* Q. Hi, I like this guy on the internet and he wants me to call him and meet him, but I told him that I was 19 for real im 14. Should i tell him the truth?

* A. Dear Nicolette, Internet relationships are definitely not safe (There are a few exceptions, but I’m not going to get into that). The worse part about this thing between you and this guy, is that you lied about your age. So that means this guy must be older than you. I would tell him the truth. If he gets mad about the situation, quick talking to him and block his e-mail. Hopefully you haven’t given him any personal information about yourself. Just remember to play it safe. You never know what you’re getting into on the internet.

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Q. Hi Brit I have a crush on this guy. We always walk home together and flirt around but it hasn’t became to the relationship level. What should I do?

A. Dear Denise, If things aren’t where you want them to be with your crush, try to push them there. See if he follows. You know that he likes you in return if he wants to be more than friends. Another suggestion is to tell him that you like him. See how he reacts. He may or may not feel the same way. The best thing to do is approach him with the situation, the way you want to handle it. If you want to tell him, then tell him. Or if you want to push him to your level, then push him. -Brit

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Q. Not to be vain, but I am as pretty as my best friend if not prettier, but she as bigger boobs. I too have big boobs but hers are huge! The boys always go for her for that reason. I fell really bad! What should I do to not feel like nobody when around my best friend and boys?

A. Dear Celene, I think these guys that are hitting on your friend, are only in it for her chest, and more. Remember that there is more to you than your chest and face. Instead of waiting for these guys to make the move on you, make the move on them. It’ll give the guys a clue, “Hey this chick’s cute too and she likes us.” That should help some. If you feel weird around your friend, then let her know, maybe she can try to do something to stop that. You have to be honest with your friends. -Brit

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Q. Hi, I’m 12 turning 13 in October and I’m going out with this guy who is 14 and 15 in November and I was wondered if he’s too old for me and would he be thinking about sex and stuff I’m not ready for.

A. Dear Laura, This guy is not too old for you, but just remember, that he’s more mature, and there’s a possibility of him just using you for sex. But don’t get me wrong, he may actually like you. Make sure you really know this guy and what he’s about. Get to know his friends, that way you have some background of him. With him a little older, he will most definitely be thinking about sex, whether or not he wants to do it is another story. If he starts to move to fast for you, tell him. He should be understanding. If he’s not, then this guy is not for you. Dump him and find a guy that will respect your decisions. -Brit

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Q. Brit, I like this kid at my school, and we talk all the time on-line all the time, but we don’t talk in school except for “hey what’s up” what can I do to see if he likes me or notices me? Thanks, Cara

A. Dear Cara, I would try to have more in-person conversations with this boy. This will help to get you two closer. You’ll become more of friends too. Once you’ve accomplished that, then work on doing stuff together, like going to the movies or going out with a group of friends somewhere. This will take a little bit of time, you don’t want to rush into things. The next thing I would suggest is start talking about personal things you’d only share with close friends, this way you’ll get to know each other a lot better. Definitely flirt with him, that will hint to him that you like him. He may get the picture and flirt back to let you know that he likes you too. You just have to stick with it, and work on getting closer to him to see if he likes you. -Brit

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Q. How do you make your boyfriend happy?

A. Ashley, This is a tuffy. Know what your boyfriend likes. If he likes sports, take him to see his favorite sports team. Or ask him what he wants to do, then do it. There’s many things you can do, but it all depends on your boyfriend’s personality and what he’s like. Surprise him with things, and make him laugh. There’s no one real way to make your boyfriend happy. If he’s unhappy because he has a nonexistent sex life, I’d end that relationship. Use what you know about him to create ideas that will turn his frown upside-down. -Brit

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Q. Hi Brit, I started out as one of the most popular girls at school during the first few months that school started. I got tired of the whole “prep” mode (make-up, body image, the MALL, etc.). I started hanging out with a girl, Brittany, who seemed to act more like me. We had fun the first few months and then everything changed. She started getting me in trouble, and she also ruined my rep with guys by telling them all kinds of lies about her and I being lesbians together. She told them all kinds of untrue things that we “did” together. I don’t know what to do. She sticks by me when I am depressed about my home life. She has helped to bring my grades up. I am just so confused. From Tia.

A. Dear Tia, Let me start off by saying that this is not going to be an easy question for me to answer, but I’ll try my best 🙂 This girl, Brittany, may have helped you with somethings, but in reality, she’s just bringing you down. I would suggest slowly keeping your distance from her. Don’t do it fast, make it slow so she doesn’t notice that you’re ditching her. You don’t want someone lowering your self-esteem like that. It seems as if she’s obviously hurting you, and you don’t need that. I would try to make contact with your old friends. Let them know that all that happened is not true. It’s not easy to rebuild your rep, but just keep working on it. I hope I helped, this was a kind of hard question for me 🙂 -Brit

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Q. Hi Brittany, I have a problem. Most teens my age (14) have a problem like being fat but im totally the opposite. Why? I know I have high metabolism but I have no clue what to do. I’m so tired of being made fun of and faving a really low self-confidence because of that. Please help me….~*thanx a lot*~

A. Dear Vicki, Hey girl, don’t let other people’s opinions get ya down. You should be happy with your body. I know you’re going through a hard time right now. Everyone at one point in their life goes through a time when they are unsatisfied with their body. I know I did. Now to help you out. One question, are you eating enough food? If you’re busy and don’t have time to eat, grab something that’s easy to make or something like a pop tart. You don’t want to not eat. If you are eating, then eat more, it will help even out the balance(don’t overeat though). Make sure you eat healthy though, you don’t want to pig out on junk food, that’s not good for your body. If you need any more help, e-mail me again. I’ll be glad to help. -Brit

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Q. Dear Brit, I really like this guy that I work with. We have known each other since second grade, except now I have a lot of feelings for him and we are seniors in high school. What should I do?

A. Dear Laura, The best relationships are those that start as a friendship. This way you guys know each other very well, so you’re very compatible. Since you two will be going off to college soon, it’s better to let him know now, then to never let him know. Just ask him out on dates, but don’t make it seem like a date. Make it seem like you’re just two friends “hanging out.” When you feel the time is right(and you’ll know when it’s time), let him know how you feel. Tell him that you like him and would like you two to be more than just friends. Let him tell you how he feels, don’t do all the talking, let him voice his opinion. Now remember, things may not go as you planned, but that doesn’t mean you two won’t end up together. Just step up to the plate and pour your heart out to him. -Brit

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Q. I’m 16 and my boyfriend is 21 and we’ve been going out for 2 years and were very happy, but I found him hanging around with his ex who I totally hate, and they were drinking together which I told him not to do, and he disobeyed it and denied it. We broke up cuz I was upset and then we went back together and its hard for me trust him cuz I heard he was with her again and I know he lies a lot, but I truly love him and so does he. I want to know if ex’s still have feelings for each other when they broke up cuz my he wanted me and if I should break up with him or stay with him even though we talked to eachother but it did not work and also he’ll be going to jail on the 19 of June. It would be really hard for me to break up with him cuz I really love him and he was the only guy who wanted me.

A. Dear Priscilla, For one thing, you dating a 21 year old is illegal. But lets get things straight. He’s going off to jail soon, there’s one reason not to stay with him. He’s cheated on you, there’s another reason not to stay with him. Even after he cheated on you, probably more than once with his ex, he’s lied to you. Yet another reason not to stay with him. You may truly love this guy, but some things just aren’t meant to be. You’ll have to face the facts. If worse comes to worse, make a list of the pros and cons of staying with him. Rethink everything he’s done to you. You’re only 16, it’s not like you won’t find another guy. Chances are you won’t end up marrying this guy anyway. Don’t waste your time with someone that hurts you emotionally. Find someone your own age too. He could be sent to jail for even longer for him dating you. Just remember follow your heart. If you really want to stay with him, I’m not stopping you, but I don’t agree with it. -Brit

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If there is a * in front of the post, then it was something that we thought was very important or an FAQ.

Q. Dear Brit, I have a problem with one of my friends, my friend lies, cheats and is real lazy. She’s lazy by making me pick up her bag and books, in science she makes pick up all the sheets and textbooks, in cooking she makes my teammate and I do the hard task of cleaning up while she just wipes down the benches. She lies about me, she said to everybody that I woke up her younger sister on a slipover when I didn’t. I’ve told another friend about this and she suggests you should either hang out with us or talk to her serious. I don’t want to boss this girl around, she sort of the leader of our little clique and everyone backs her up if another goes against her. I don’t really like the way she acts. I don’t know whether I should split up from the group or try and become a leader myself. Also another question if you were popular in school would you do what you wished and not follow popular student rules? Mike

A. Dear Mike, Your friend has some serious issues. You should not let it stoop to a level lower than this. She may be popular, but you have to let these people know what she’s doing. Popular people think they have power and authority, but they’re just people who want to be noticed and liked for the title of “POPULAR” A popular person should be someone EVERYONE likes, is a nice person, and is respected and respects other people. If she starts ordering you around, refuse to do what she tells you. No one should make you do anything but yourself. Other people probably agree with her because of the power she has. They don’t want to be kicked out of the group because they won’t be popular anymore. Speak up about it, maybe some other people will join you. If she dislikes your outrage, well that’s her problem. She shouldn’t be treating people like that. For your other question: I say do what you want. I dress how I want and how I like, and do the things I want to do. I don’t drink or smoke, and people respect my decisions. Don’t follow everyone else, be a leader. Maybe you’ll start something new and people will look up to you. -Brit

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Q. Brit, I’m going out with this girl (been 10 months) and everything’s been fine. One day, I couldn’t get it up. No-big deal… But now I get really nervous so it won’t go up anyway… What should I do to not be nervous? I know it’s not her fault – she said that it’s OK, don’t worry etc. but she’s got to be getting worried! SO AM I! Please help. What should I do?

A. Dear Pete, You have to look at the other factors, are you doing drugs or drinking, because that can affect the way your body functions. If not, then I’d go see your doctor. I’d see your doctor whether or not I was doing drugs. Don’t make such a big deal about this. Obviously your girlfriend doesn’t seem to mind either. If your so worried, you should take action about this. Don’t dwell on the fact that your manhood is not functioning properly.

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* Q. Dear Brit, My best friend has bone cancer in her leg, she will need an amputation and then chemo. Problem is all her other friends are afraid to talk to her, she feels betrayed and I am the only friend who has stuck by her. What should I say to her other friends who are afraid to visit her? I know she is upset that they can’t deal. Thanks so much! My name is Leena

* A. Dear Leena, In some ways I would tell you to let them figure out on their own what they are doing to your friend. She is going through a rough time in her life and I’m sure they understand that, but they don’t know how to react to the situation. You on the other hand, are grasping this one with your hand. You see that your friend needs all the support she can get. You’re right there by her side helping her cope with the fact she has cancer. Another part of me is telling you to tell your friends what you think about how they’re acting. Let them know that your friend needs her friends at this point, more than ever before. Be sure to tell them the situation and how she feels about them abandoning her as well. Maybe it will give them a wake up call. At least you know that your helping your friend and supporting her. That’s got to be some relief to her.

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Q. Hi, I’m going to 8th grade after summer break and I want to look cute for 8th grade. My problem is that when I was in 6th grade I go the chicken pox and I accidentally rubbed 3 of the scabs off and now they left scars in the middle of my face. How can I make them go away or at least hide them. Please help! Thanks! Amy, Age 13

A. Dear Amy, First thing is first, see a dermatologist. He or she can definitely help you. Another option is concealer. They sell it in the make-up department. It’s used to hide blemishes and anything else on your face you want to hide. It works really well. Just be sure to not touch your face a lot, because make-up can rub off and you’ll have to reapply it. If you have any other questions just ask!

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Q. Hi Brit, I’m 17,and just had a baby. My boyfriend lived with me until my parents kicked him out. I love him so much and I know he does too though he has a bad temper most of the time. Well he was never like this, but now he hits me and is very jealous about everything, even because sometimes I hang around with my daughter or my little brothers. He always thinks that if I go somewhere I’m going to cheat on him. I don’t know what to do because I love him and we have a daughter and I don’t want her to grow up without a father. Oh one more thing, he tried to cheat on me with my own mother, but he denies it. Can you give me some advice? love, Michelle

A. Dear Michelle, Now, I’m going to try my best on this one. I’d definitely seek some type of help, whether it be from your parents, a doctor, or a psychologist. You need to straighten your life out. What this guy is doing to you is not right. You may be in love with him, but is all this love really worth you getting beat up for no apparent reason. You may want your child to grow up with a father, but the best thing for you will be to leave him. Now this may upset him, but he’s going to have to realize that you don’t deserved to be treated that way. No one does. And just think, if he’s hitting you, it could lead to him hitting your child. I’m sure you don’t want that. I would have him seek psychological help. He should not be treating women that way. For that matter anyone. Don’t let “love” ruin your life. If his beating were to get worse, he could end up killing you. Don’t let it happen. You can find another guy that would be willing to take care of you and your daughter without having the pay the price of pain. -Brit

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Q. HEY BRIT, IF MY MOM DIDN’T PRESS CHARGES ON MY BOYFRIEND AND HE’S 18 AND I’M 15 AND I GET PREGNANT WILL HE STILL GO TO JAIL? Nessa

A. Dear Nessa, Chances are that he could still go to jail, because what he did to you is statutory rape. It’s illegal, even with your permission. You have a fifty-fifty shot with this. Either your parents can press charges or the state will find out and take matters into their hands. But don’t get me wrong, I’m not a lawyer, I’m just a teenager. -Brit

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Q. Well, my best friend since like first grade went out with my ex of 3 times and I still would talk to him and we had our moments still and then she started liking him I guess with out telling me cause I guess he started sweet talking her and stuff and she used to hate him and say he was ugly when I went out with him and stuff and so me and him got in a fight and then they like started going out well he’s not the type of guy that can stay with a girl so he broke up with her but I found out about them talking and all that from my other friend not her well I don’t feel that I can trust her anymore oh and I started talking to him again like as friends and stuff like how it used to be then we got in this little fight and he says he’s not gonna make up with me again and all this stuff so should I trust my friend and should I try and talk to him? Salina

A. Dear Salina, I would like to know first of all, did you tell your friend that you did not want her dating your ex. If not then, you have no reason to be mad at her. One of the reasons why your friend probably went behind your back was because she didn’t want to hurt your feelings. In the long run, she hurt your feelings anyways. Your going to have to deal with the fact that things don’t always go the way you want them to. You may not have wanted your friend dating your ex, but that’s the way things go. You can’t control fate. It just happens on its own. Your friend also said the he didn’t like your ex and thought he was ugly, so that it threw you off track. And made you think she didn’t like him, when she really did. Don’t get mad about it. These things happen. If you and your ex have gotten back together 3 times already, I can tell you that your relationship with him should not even exist. I would say to start talking with your friend and your ex to mend all hurt feelings. By all means, I would definitely trust both of them, unless they both broke a promise. Then I’d say if you want them both back, that they’re going to have to build their trust up with you again. -Brit

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Q. I am a 15 year old female and am always soaking in sweat, I have tried all the different deodorants including the crystal rock thing. Is there something I can do to help this problem, Thanks – Charly

A. Dear Charly, Well, if you’ve tried everything out there on the market, I’d definitely suggest going to see your doctor. Tell your mom to make an appointment. You may have to try a few prescriptions before you find the one that works, but it’s a start. -Brit (This is a common problem for many teenagers… most of you will out grow it. (Amy).

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Q. Hey Brit, My problem isn’t some huge deal or anything but its bothering me, and really making me dislike myself. The problem is that I get upset over really frivolous things. I mean we’re talking really stupid things here. I’ll get all bent out of shape about it, and I take everything personal. I know that I need to stop doing this, because it just makes me, as well as the people around me, unhappy. I’ve found that the stuff that gets to me most is usually things that involve my boyfriend. We’ve been together for 2 years and 9 months and I should feel totally secure in our relationship but like I said, I get upset over the smallest things. Like today we went to get ice cream together and when he dropped me off he was like “bye” and I kinda got upset cause I thought he would come in or something. Not a big deal at all, but I end up ruining everything with my bad mood. I should have just sucked it up because it was a stupid stupid thing to get upset about. I should have just been like OK, see you tomorrow and given him a kiss good-bye. That’s one example of many. I’m really annoying myself because I am so sensitive. I have tried to stop sweating the small stuff, but I haven’t been able to. It’s really bothering me. Do I need Prozac or something? Because I don’t feel normal. It’s like whacky mood swings or something. Thanks for taking the time to read my problem. I hope it doesn’t sound stupid. Lizzy

A. Dear Lizzy, Don’t worry you’re not alone. Many girls(and boys) get this way, especially during their teen years. You’re going through a not so easy time right now with school and your boyfriend. When it comes to small stuff like the deal with your boyfriend, you have to remember that guys are not girls. They don’t like to show their emotions like girls do. Don’t get upset because he didn’t say good-bye or kiss you. It’s not a big deal. Guys need their space too. They don’t want their girlfriend hanging on him and kissing him in front of his friends or just when it’s you two. If you get these small break downs, think about why you’re so upset. And analyze what the problem was. If the problem gets to serious, talk to your parents, counselor, and even your doctor. They are good with these things. I’m not a doctor, so I can’t answer this question the way I want to. I’d seek help if you’re worried about this problem getting worse. -Brit

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Q. Help, Should I swim if I have my period?

A. Dear Help, Of course you can swim while on your period. You use what is called a tampon. Ask your mom about it. She should be willing to inform you about this issue. But tampons are made for many reasons, but you should use them while swimming when you’re on your period.

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Q. I am seventeen and I have very small breast is their anything I can do besides medical treatments or medication. From Angela

A. Dear Angela, Don’t be so worried about your small breasts. There’s nothing wrong with having them. Many girls have them, and in fact I’ve heard that small breasts are in this season. You’re only seventeen, you still have a year or two left of growing, so things could change. Don’t spend all your time worrying about what to do about your small breasts. If they bother you that much, there are silicon breasts that you insert into your bra. If you go swimming though, you shouldn’t wear them. Padded bras are another option too. You can buy padded swimsuits so no one can tell you have small breasts. You can also go to your doctor, and he/she can recommend something other than breast implants. Just remember, that it’s not about your outside, it’s about how you are as a person. -Brit

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* Q. My friend says he’s depressed and sometimes feels like hurting himself, but he doesn’t want me to tell anyone, especially his parents. He says that he’ll be upset if I tell anyone. What should I do?

* A. If your friend is talking like that you are obligated to tell his parents and assist him in getting help immediately. This situation is nothing to take lightly. Even though you think that he’s not serious, he may be. So don’t wait. Alert his parents, teachers or any authority that could offer him some help. You will probably be saving his life. Most suicide attempts are a cry for help-so get him the help that he needs early.

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Q. Dear Brit Please help me!! I am really having a big problem well here it is… I met a boy named Jesse at a foster home (my papa’s takes care of him). But recently. He had to go because they got in a fight I really care for Jesse and we have grown together. He was like my boyfriend I never had!. My parents forbid me to ever talk to him ever again he has called me from his new home and my parent found out and took away my private line now he can’t call me and I miss him a whole lot. I don’t have his phone number and he doesn’t not have the number to the other line at my house. I miss him so much but to make thing worse I can’t even talk to anyone about it because my so-called BEST FRIEND spread a rumor that I was a lesbian. And I don’t really have that much friends in the first place so that hurt a lot!!!! What do you think I should do? Please help me!! Sincerely, Tomika

A. Dear Tomika, You are definitely in a hard situation. It’s hard to outsmart your parents, so just about any suggestion I give you won’t work. The best thing you could do is talk about this with your parents. Ask them why they don’t want you seeing him. If it is because of an issue between him and your parents, then they should not be punishing you for what they did(or he did). Parents sometimes think that they are doing the right thing, but they should take our feelings into consideration. Life isn’t always fair, so things may not swing in your direction. Talk it over with them, and let them know how you feel, it might change their minds. -Brit

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Q. Hey Brit, I think I am in HUGE trouble I am like super obsessed with sex I am 19 and I have been visiting porno web sites for a year now and have many sex toys I masturbate and use my sex toys at least hours a day is this toooo bad? I do not understand how to stop.

A. Dear Lizz, There is nothing wrong with masturbation, it’s a part of your sexuality. I don’t know you too well, but if your currently not seeing anyone, and you aren’t getting any action, this could be your way of making up for it. Sometimes things can get out of hand, if that’s the case, and you feel you have a problem, I’d get help from a professional. Also, try getting rid of some of your sex toys, and maybe try not to visit that porn site as much. You should take baby steps when trying to fix a problem, don’t try to do it all at once. Slowly rid your life of the pieces of the problem. -Brit

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Q. Hi, my problem is that I have 2 best friends and we call each other the 3 musketeers and I luv being with them but, they have been friends a lot longer then I have with them and I feel left out a lot of the time when I am around them. I talked to one of them about it but nothing changed and I want to know should I go to a different group of pebs or should I stay with them?

A. Dear Kloey, Don’t get so worried. They’ve been friends longer, so they have a tighter bond. They probably don’t mean to leave you out of things. I would definitely not leave them for another group of people. They are your friends, and they’ll be there until the end. So don’t ruin your relationship with them over a silly thing like this. -Brit

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Q. I am so confused! I’ve been going out with my b.f, Billy for about 14 months now. I’ve been crushing on this guy(Jimmy) since last school year. We got REALLY close. We talked all the time about everything… I still like him A LOT and he still likes me just as much… the only thing is… he’s been dating a girl since December or so. And I’ve been with my b.f for a long time too. I don’t want to hurt Billy, but I truly want to be with Jimmy . this is a really hard decision. and I don’t know how to break it to Billy at all. I think I love Jimmy.. I already know I have really strong feelings for him . please help me ASAP! I have French class with Jimmy again this school year! ((PS))-((( I’ll be a Sophomore, and Jimmy will be a Junior.)))

A. Dear Jamie, Who would you rather be with? Do you see yourself happier with Jimmy? Answer some questions, or make a list of the pros and cons of dating Billy and do the same with Jimmy. In these kinds of situations, I can’t tell you what to do. You have to follow your heart and find out what is the best way to go. I don’t want to be the one to break up you and your boyfriend. Who ever you feel you’d be happier with and think that it will last long, then go with that guy. This is one of those situations where you should most definitely listen to your heart, it will tell you the right answer. -Brit

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Q. Hey Brits, I’ve got this guy I like we used to go out and when he broke up w/ me I cried non stop for 3 hours!!!(he recently said he was sorry for that) Anyway my friends say that I m in LOVE with him…. I have lately found myself changing my wardrobe and hair/makeup JUST FOR HIM….see my friends used to tell me I was slutty and that’s why me and the guy were JUST friends and nothing more well I wasn’t slutty all I did was wear short shorts and shirts (Which look SOOOO cute on me)…. So am I in love? Am I changing myself too much? Should I just give up on him and just be friends? I need answers FAST!!! He’s soooooooo nice, HELP – Amy –

A. Dear Amy, I hate to rat on your parade, but don’t change yourself just for him. You should dress how you want and look how you want for yourself, not for someone else. You should be happy with how you look. People should like you for who you are, not for who you’re trying to be. Also, short shorts and skirts may look cute on you, but don’t overdo it. Wear them every so often. Girls don’t like to see girls wearing clothes too small for them, and guys may look, but it’s usually not a good look. Since you aren’t exactly dating this guy, there’s not way you could be in love with him. Now, you could be obsessed with him, and that’s probably what you have. Love is something you cherish, and you’ll know when you’re in love. If you have to ask, then it’s not real. Don’t change yourself for this guy, do it for you, and maybe he’ll like the new you. But don’t get me wrong, your friends could be wrong and he could like you as you are. Try and do stuff with this guy, don’t just give up. Give up when he tells you he sees you two as nothing more than friends. -Brit

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Q. Hi Brit, I got my period 6 months ago and my mom only bought me pads to use, but I was hoping to use tampons. I was too embarrassed to ask to try tampons. But now I’ve joined the swim team and I know that pads aren’t an option in the water, so I’m going to have to use tampons if I want to keep swimming during my period, which I do. But I’m not sure how to go about asking my mom about using tampons and I’m usually embarrassed about these issues when I talk to her about them. But the thing is, I’m not really comfortable talking to anyone else about them either!!! Please tell me what to say!

A. Dear Kristen, Tampons are usually not a girl’s first choice. The thought of sticking something in there usually freaks them out. But don’t sweat it. In the boxes, they have directions on how to insert them. Don’t be afraid to ask your mom to buy you tampons. She’s a woman, she’s been through the same things you have. She knows what to do, so don’t be afraid. I’m sure she’d be willing to buy you tampons. I would think she would have already bought them for you, since she knows you have your period and you’re on the swim team. But I could be wrong. Don’t be afraid girl! -Brit

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Q. I was masturbating and when I finished it was really sore. What have I done to make it hurt so much?

A. Dear Anon, My guess would be that you were masturbating too hard. It sounds weird, but it can actually happen. You might have scratched or scraped yourself as well, so it could be a combination of things. Next time, try to take it easy, and don’t try so hard. -Brit

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Q. I have a really small penis, I think and am afraid my G/F will be turned off.

A. Dear Drew, There’s not much you can do about a small penis. A girl should not get upset or turned off about a guy’s penis size. That shows that she isn’t really in the relationship with the guy. It sounds more like she’s in the relationship with his penis. That would be like him saying he doesn’t like a girl because she has small breasts. She can’t do much about it either. She could get a boob job, but those would not be her real breasts anymore. He’s just going to have to learn to deal. He’s still young I assume, there’s bound to be a girl that isn’t bothered by the size of his penis. Then he’ll realize, it’s about him and not his package. -Brit

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Q. Hi Brit, I’m a 17 year old guy, and I have this sort of problem. I made a choice a few years back that until I felt I was ready to start dating I wouldn’t! I am not gay or undecided, I just don’t feel that dating is the most important part of being a teenager, it can wait till you are older. It has been great in some ways, I have gotten to know so many girls in a strictly friendship sort of way and that is something that is so cool! I can get to be really good friends with a chick without having to worry about whether what I am feeling is just friendship or what. It also saves me alot of worry, all my mates are like “dude do you think she likes me?” and “i can’t believe I said that she must think I am so dumb!” but I don’t worry about that sort of stuff coz a friend (even if it is a chick friend) wouldn’t care what I looked like or if I said the occasional dumb thing. But recently some of my friends have been giving me a hard time. They tell me that I need to get a girl, and they make me feel like a bit of a loser coz I don’t have a girlfriend! What do you think? Is it ok to only have girls as friends, or do you think my friends are right, that I should try to hook up with one of them? Thanks a lot, Matt

A. Dear Matt, Don’t worry about what your friends think. They’re probably all just jealous because you’re making all these great friendships with a bunch of girls. There is nothing wrong with have a bunch of chick friends. They are always good friends and can help you when you’re ready to start dating. I believe that there is more to being a teenager than just dating. It’s up to you when you want to date. Don’t let your friends pressure you into doing something you don’t want to do or something you’re not ready for. When you are ready, you’ll probably have a great relationship because of all the chick friends you have had. You know all about what a girl wants and how to treat them from your friendship experiences. Just tell your friends to back off. It’s your life, you can decide what you want to do with it. -Brit

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Q. Hi Brit, I like your advice. I have a problem. My friends say I am easy because if I like a guy I think it is okay to kiss on the first date, I don’t go any farther then that and I don’t want to get the rep for being a slut. I am 16 and still a virgin and want to keep it that way. But I was in a chatroom and a friend of mine did say she thought I was turning into a slut. What can I do or should I care? Thanks, Mandy from Vermont

A. Dear Mandy, Your friends obviously can not tell the difference between easy and not easy. Just because you kiss on the first date, does not give you the label “slut or easy.” You should clear this up with your friends. Another thing, it’s kind of hard to be a slut when you’re still a virgin. The only way you are a slut is if you sleep with guys just to sleep with them. And you’re not doing that, you’re still a virgin. Either your friend is jealous or she has something against you. I would try to talk to your friends about this. Explain to them what slut really means and tell them that you respect yourself too much to turn yourself into a slut. If you need anymore help, just e-mail me again.

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Q. I just got out of a relationship with a 22 year old and I am only 16. The reason we broke it off was because I got a choice from my parents to get out or get over him. We thought it was for the better, but now that I don’t have him anymore I know that I still have feelings for him and at one time I was sure that I was in love with him. I want to tell him how I still feel, but I don’t know if I would be making a mistake. What should I do? – Susan

A. Dear Susan, Here’s the deal, first of all you shouldn’t be dating a 22 year old. That is statutory rape, and he can go to jail for that. I can see why your parents gave you a choice. But anyways, you’re only 16. You still have your whole life ahead of you to find another guy. This is just one of many guys you’ll meet and fall in love with. So don’t take this first love thing too seriously. There’s a one and a million chance that your first love will end up being your life partner. My suggestion is to let the feelings pass by, you’ll find a guy that will love you just as much or even more. -Brit

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Q. I love one boy but I am fat and I think he wont want a fat girl like me help me what I can do???

A. Dear Pamela, Don’t get hyped over the small things. Your weight shouldn’t matter. If it does, then you shouldn’t go out with the guy. The one thing you didn’t mention is if he likes you or not. Are you guys friends? Before you start getting serious with him, make sure you two have a strong friendship. Get to know him better, learn things about him that you didn’t know. That way he can do the same for you. It’s about what is on the inside. Looks do not get you personality, trust, friendship, honesty, and most of all love. -Brit

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Q. I have a boyfriend and we tape each other getting undressed and we tape our sex then we go out and sell it is this wrong?

A. Dear, In my opinion I think that taping sex is wrong, especially if it’s between you and your boyfriend. That is an intimate moment you should only share with him, not the entire world. I’m not sure if this is legal either. It is a type of pornography, but it’s not like the profession. -Brit

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Q. Hi I have a weird question. I have liked this boy for almost a year now. We are both really shy. I asked him out and he said he had to think about it. Almost a week later he called and said he didn’t want to break my heart but he didn’t want to go out with me I said fine I am okay with that but can we be friends. He said no. This made me really sad. A few days later my boyfriend told me that my crush had called her to ask something about me, then a few days later I heard him telling his friends how much he liked me.. At first I thought he wasn’t ready to date but then not even a week later another girl asked him out and he said sure. What do you think is up wit that?

A. Dear Lizzy, Guys are weird. Let me tell you that we can never fully understand a guy. The best thing to do is blow this off. Your still young, you don’t need to spend a year chasing just one guy. Live a little. Go out in the world and look around. There’s no real explanation for how he acted. I can’t help you out too much with this one. Sorry. -Brit

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Q. Hi Brit, there is a guy that I went out with in 8th grade and he was in 9th but it wasn’t really a relationship, because we didn’t really talk or anything! lol. Then after that we went our different ways to different schools and we never talked and we still go to different schools. Anyway, some how he got my screen name and we have talked for a long time now and we finally started to hang out again. One night he was at my house and we made out. (It was great) Now he wants to go out, but the only problem is that he is kinda not good looking. His skin color is so weird, its like he put to much of the fake tanning crap on. Seriously it does. And all my friends say “don’t go for him girl” ” you can do so much better” But I don’t know, I like him SOO much and to me, looks isn’t everything! he has the best personality in the world! do you think I should listen to my friends and just stay friends with him? I know I sound shallow, but I feel like I can be honest with you. And what I think is really messed up is that some of my friends have even said that if I ever go out with him the wont hang out with me or be around me when he is around! that’s SO messed up to me!! I dunno this is so tough for me! ARGH! but hope you know what to do!

A. Dear Shannon, Don’t listen to your friends. You should follow your heart. If you like this guy, don’t let your friends stand in the way of you having a great relationship. Also, your friends are not true friends if they told you they would not be your friend anymore if you date this guy. True friends would back you up in any situation whether they agree or not. -Brit

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Q. I have feelings for my ex boy… Right now I have a true committed boyfriend but I’m still in love with my ex and everytime I’m with my current boyfriend that I’ve been with for 4 months now, all I can think about is my ex. I try calling him but he is never home and he doesn’t reply to my letters anymore but I think we are still cool? What can I do? I definitely don’t want to hurt my current boyfriend because he loves me to much but I want my ex to know my feelings are still strong for him and I actually want him to care. HELP…

A. Dear Lindsey, It’s not easy to tell your ex that you still love him. Let me get that across to you first. I see that you’ve tried contacting him. It has to say something to you that, everytime you’ve tried to contact him, you get no response from him. He obviously isn’t looking for another relationship with you. If you’re in another relationship, why are you anyways? If the whole time you were dating this guy, you still liked your ex and would much rather be with him. You are building a relationship that is pointless. You should think about what relationship you see lasting longer. You’ve already dated your ex and it ended. Do you really see you guys staying together? Now you have a new boyfriend, and things seem to be going well. Make a list of the pros and cons of staying with your current boyfriend and one for leaving him. Do you really want to risk ruining a perfectly good relationship to hook up with your ex(which probably won’t last)? Just think about what could happen. It may change your mind. -Brit

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Q. Hi, my boyfriend is always late when we have something planned. Not just fifteen minutes, which would be OK, but an hour or more! I don’t know why I even wait, but I really care about him. He doesn’t realize how much it bothers me. My question is, how can I get him to become more punctual? I have talked to him about this several times with no luck so far.

A. Dear Emily Anne, Some guys just don’t realize what they do. I’d sit him down for a serious talk about it. You could even mention something to his parents. They could hint to him to be more punctual. Changing his ways is not going to happen overnight. So don’t expect a complete makeover in 24 hours. Work with him. Try to get him so he doesn’t arrive as late. Work him up until it’s to the point where he’s early. This is something that requires work from you, not just him. -Brit

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Q. I’m having my period and my friends want me to go to a party but I’m worried that when I’m in the pool & if my tampon will leak and it’s stopping me from swimming, what should I do? From Scared

A. Dear Scared, Don’t be so worried hun. I used to be the same way when Ifirst started my period. You’ll know when your tampon is leaking. Just put in the absorbency according to your period. If you have a heavy flow, use super or super plus and so on. It doesn’t hurt to check it every once and awhile, while your swimming. Go to the bathroom and check. No one will suspect a thing. I was told also, that your period stops when you’re in water too. But who knows on that one. Don’t sweat it, you’ll be fine. All of us girls had the same fear. -Brit

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Q. In September I am going to go to high school. I am worried about what people might think of me. This past year I was made fun of because people thought I was ugly and fat, but my friends are trying to help me. They usually say “Ash you are not fat and ugly. How can I build up my self-esteem?”

A. Dear Ashley, I know when I say, “Don’t worry about what other people think of you,” you’d look at me like, that’s not that easy. But here’s the deal. You’ll have to learn to except yourself for who you are. I seriously mean it when I say, ‘Don’t worry about what others think of you.’ You should be happy with who you are. Think about all of your good qualities, don’t focus on the bad ones(stuff like, you’re a good friend, you’re sweet). Other people make rude remarks to feel better about themselves. Believe your friends when they tell you stuff like you’re not fat or ugly. Your friends know best. Don’t let other peoples’ rude remarks get you feeling blue. High school is the best 4 years of your teenage life. I love high school. There are always going to be people in your life who try to put you down. But you have to brush them aside. By letting them know that what they say doesn’t hurt you, makes them feel bad. It’s a rude awakening for them. Another suggestion would to do stuff that you like to do, and buy things for yourself that make you feel good about yourself. Remember that it’s what you think of yourself that matters, not what others think. -Brit

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Q. Dear Brittany, over the past few months, I’ve been very angry. I don’t know why, I blow up at the smallest thing, I hate it, its making me really unhappy. Mum says its just a hormonal thing, but I think its more than that. None of my friends are like this, and I want to know if there’s anything wrong with me, and what can I do about it?

A. Dear Elizabeth, The best thing that I can say is that it really is a hormonal thing. Or it could even be that something happened that really upset you, and now it gets to you when something goes wrong. I’d talk to your mom about it some more, and maybe even your doctor. Since I’m not doctor myself, the best thing I can say is to see one. -Brit

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Q. Hey Brit, I want to know your input on breast implants?

A. Dear Denise, Well, I can’t say that I’m against them or for them. I’m kind of in the middle. If you want breast implants to make yourself happier, I’m not going to stop you. That’s your decision, not mine. But there are also some risks to getting breast implants. I personally would never get them. I’m happy with my breast size, you should be too. But if you want them, don’t let me stop you. I would recommend looking into it first. See a specialist, get a lot of information on breast implants. Learn everything there is to know about getting them. This way you’ll have heard both sides of the argument. -Brit

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Q. I really like this guy and he likes me too. But the problem is there is this other guy who likes me…. and I don’t know what to do!!!! Please help me!!! Thanx

A. Dear Amanda, Ask yourself this question: Which guy would you rather be with? Don’t feel sorry for the guy that likes you, but you don’t like him. If you like the other guy, then go with him. Follow your heart. It may break his heart that you didn’t choose him, but life is just that way. Maybe you could tell him that you guys could be friends. Really, they only thing I would advise you to do is listen to what your heart has to say. -Brit

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Q. If you have a boyfriend,is it bad to go to church with your ex-boyfriend.

A. Dear Tameka, It depends on why you are going to church with him. Is it because his family invited you? Or do you both go to the same church? I’m assuming you guys are friends, and it should stay that way if you have a boyfriend. I see nothing wrong with going to church with friends, if you have a boyfriend. If it upsets him, explain it to him. -Brit

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Q. I’m getting a little depressed. My life has been real bad lately. I just got put in foster care cuz I was really badly beaten and emotionally abused. My real father is trying to put all the blame on me. N now there is no escape from my past cuz now people wanna know why I live on the other side of the city and my phone number has changed. I don’t know what 2 do. I feel really bad. Please help. – Dayna

A. Dear Dayna, Sometimes it’s better to talk about things. It will get your problems off of your chest. Talk to your friends about it. Friends are always willing to help. Just let them know what’s up. You can even talk to who’s taking care of you right now. Talk to a counselor at school or in your neighborhood. Don’t let it upset you. I know it’s not an easy thing to do. You learn from your past. This was a part of your life, and now it’s over. You have your whole future ahead of you to set things right and make things the way you want them to be. -Brit

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Q. I am totally into this guy at my church and I don’t know what to do about it. He has no idea I want him and I don’t want to look like an idiot and just bluntly tell him! I don’t know what to do because I want to be with him sooooo bad! Help!!! – Tracy

A. Dear Tracy, I’m sure you’ve had other crush’s on guys and you’ve done things to get their attention and hint to them that you like them. That’s what you should do with this guy. Flirt with him, start doing things with him, that way you two can get closer and get to know each other better. After a while of this, then let him know how you feel. He may freak, don’t worry. Guys are weird like that. He may like you too and that’s what freaks him. Or he just can’t see you two as more than friends. But work him up, get him to start liking you by doing things for him and dressing nice for him. Stuff that will get his attention. -Brit

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Q. Dear Brit, I went out with a guy off and on for about a year and a half. Over that period of time, he dumped me 6 out of 7 times. He was my first love, and we had some really great times as well as some terrible times. While we were going out, I became very close with his family, and his older sister became my best friend in the whole world. We left a lot of things unresolved, but I’m afraid that if I try to talk to my ex boyfriend, it may cause some controversy with my friendship with his sister. What should I do?

A. Dear Gwen, I don’t see why his sister should get mad at you. All you’re looking to do is solve some problems that were never fixed. She should understand. You’d rather have a smooth relationship with the whole family, rather than a bumpy one. Just explain to her your situation, she may even back you up. -Brit

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Q. I just got my eyebrows waxed and there are little bumps above my eyebrows. How can get them off of my face?

A. Dear Michele, The little red bumps are there probably because the waxing irritated your eye area. The best thing to do is rub some ice on them to reduce the redness. -Brit

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Q. Brit, I’m 12 and a 1/2 and my boobs haven’t grown a lot I’m a size 34 basically I’m FLAT! My little brother punches me in the boobs a lot but it never actually hurt, but last week he punched me in a boob and it was sore and I’m worried that it might stunt its growth.

A. Dear M, Nothing of that sort can stunt the growth in your boobs. There have been myths that say if you sleep on your stomach or get hit in the chest, that they will not grow. They are false though. The only way they can be stunted is if you are very athletic. They will grow, but they will grow slower than normal. Don’t be alarmed. You have nothing to worry about. Your boobs will grow, just give them time. Everyone grows at different rates. You’re just a late bloomer. Remember, your brother hitting you in the chest, won’t do anything to your boobs. -Brit

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Q. Hi, I need help for cramps, what do you use?

A. Dear Susanna, Try taking something like Aleve, it works real quick and it helps the pain from coming back quicker. Another method is to lay a heating pad on your lower stomach to reduce the pain. If your cramps are really bad, I’d suggest seeing a gynecologist. He can write you a prescription for something that will help to eliminate or reduce the occurrences of cramps. -Brit

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Q. Hi Brit, I am 14 and some of my mates have slept with people, I had the opportunity but left it but now I think I want to do it so then its over with. I no this is the wrong reasons for doing this but I think I am going to do it with someone not just anyone some who I like ‘n he likes me but just so I’ve got it over with, I don’t want to get pregnant so what should I get condoms will help but are they 100% going to work if not what else should I use and her can I get it from. Please help thank luv Lisa

A. Dear Lisa, You should read the Birth Control section of Teen Health Secrets. It will answer most of your questions. Condoms can be bought pretty much anywhere, Walgreens, Walmart, places like that. The birth control pill is a prescribed pill that you receive from your gynecologist. Both are pretty much 100% effective. And when they aren’t, it is due to human error(Like missing a pill, or using a condom incorrectly). I do want to give you a bit of advice, whether you listen to it or not, I would like for you to take it into consideration. You should not be having sex, mostly in part because most of your friends have. You are a better person for not having had sex. Sex is something you share with someone you love. Hun, you’re only 14, you don’t want to take the risk of getting pregnant. Before you do any of this, make sure you talk to your mom. She knows what you’re going through, and she’ll give you some insight to the situation. -Brit

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Q. Is the sex form the basis of the love relationship? My gf wants to have sex is it necessary?

A. Dear Raju, In my opinion sex is not necessary in a relationship. The way I see sex is making love to someone you love and care deeply for. It’s something you share when you’re ready. If you’re not ready, tell your girl. Just say your not into it, and you don’t want to take your relationship to that level yet. She should understand. -Brit

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Q. Okay I know this is going to sound crazy, but how can I get my butt bigger? Or at least look bigger? It’s like really flat and looks weird when I wear jeans. Please help!!

A. Dear Milena, I don’t know if you can get your butt to be bigger, but you can firm it up. Try doing exercises that work your butt muscles (gluteus maximus). It will help get rid of the fat that makes your butt look flat and will firm up those muscles to give you kind of a bubble butt. -Brit

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Q. I really like this guy but he goes for size 2-6 girls and I’m more like a size 18. We have been friends for a year now, we make each other laugh and all that. But I don’t know if it will go any further than that. Everyone of my friends have gone out already, and I haven’t even had a boyfriend yet. What would you suggest. Thanks

A. Dear Nancy, Some guys have their certain preferences. I would try to take things a little further, to see if he responds. If not, then you know you and he weren’t meant to be. Another thing, quit obsessing over the fact that you are boyfriendless. You do not have to be like your friends and have a boyfriend. There is nothing wrong with being free and single. I’m assuming you’re still young, so give life a chance. It will bring you a guy that will make you happy and fall in love. -Brit

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Q. Hey Brit – I’m going into high school in the fall and I’ve already had a few confrontations with some older gang-like girls, can you give me any tips on how to take it all in and deal with the maybe teases or name calling I might recede in the fall?

A. Dear Liza, You have to understand that the older girls (and guys too) will take advantage of their position in the school. They feel that just because they are juniors or seniors, they have the right to make fun of the underclassmen. Don’t take it as an insult. You shouldn’t worry about what other people think either. As long as you have your friends, then high school will be the best 4 years of your teenage life. If you do run into some confrontations, just take it like a woman. Listen to what they say, but don’t let it get to you. They’re just trying to make themselves feel better and look better in front of their friends. The best thing to do is kill them with kindness. Be nice to them, it will make them think twice about what they’re doing to you. -Brit

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Q. I go back 2 school in September, and I’m wondering will I be able 2 lose weight in time for the first day of school?

A. Dear Lizzi, I may sound a little ignorant here, but quit obsessing about your weight. Your weight does not make you, you make you. Guys are not always interested in the skinny toothpick girls either. Guys like variety. But if your up to losing a few pounds, then here’s what I suggest. Exercise, exercise exercise. Try to do it with a friend or play some music. Don’t overwork yourself. Just a half an hour will do. Do something like aerobics, running, riding your bike, and swimming. Do these 3 to 4 times a week. Also, lay off the twinkies and chips. Try eating fruit for a snack, it’s sweet and good for you. Try to eat healthier. A lot of times when your hungry in between meals or at midnight(I know how everyone likes their midnight snack), you body is telling you that it needs water, not food. Try that as an alternative. Try to limit yourself to 1 soda a day. Drink water, juice, and milk. They are much better for your body. Make sure the juice is 100% real fruit juice, not the concentrated stuff that is packed with sugar. Try to do this, now you have to try and maintain your weight. Just keep exercising and eating healthy, and you should stay healthy and fit. Hope I helped. -Brit

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Q. Hi Brit, I was wondering, I’m dating a guy who is 19 and I’m 15. My parents say he is too old for me, but I don’t want to lose him. The bad thing is I already had sex with him and I think I’m pregnant. How can I tell on my own if I am? Thanks, Foxxy

A. Dear Foxxy, A four year age difference is a lot. What you two are doing is illegal, he could go to jail for dating you. And his consequence could be worse since you guys have had sex. If you think you’re pregnant, see your gynecologist. If you don’t have one, go to somewhere like Walgreens and buy a home pregnancy test. They are pretty accurate. They are confidential if you hide the evidence. Most of all, tell your mom. She may be mad, but she’ll be happy to know that you came to her. -Brit

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Q. Dear Brit, my friend and I have been fighting for months now and it is because she made cheerleading and made a big deal of it and ignored me completely and hung out with the rest of the cheerleaders but now the cheerleaders are ignoring her and now she wants to be my best friend again. Should I forgive her?

A. Dear Leslie, It’s up to you whether or not you forgive your friend. I can’t make your decisions. It sounds to me like your friend just wanted to fit in. This happens to a lot of people, but you have to judge her. Ask her questions and see if it’s worth risking your friendship with her again. -Brit

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Q. I met this by this year, and we became friends. He lives down the street from me and we hang out once in a while but I want to be more then friends. He always flirts with me and I know he likes me but how do I Tell him I like him?

A. Dear Lauren, You have to be bold. You can either come right out and tell him that you like him. But you have to be ready to tell him. Or you can send him little signals so he gets the hint. When he flirts with you, flirt back. Start doing more together and get to know things about him that you didn’t already know. -Brit

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Q. Hey Brit, I have a boyfriend who I have been with for a while and he said some mean stuff to me on the phone so I called my best friend and she called him and she asked him if he really liked me and he said not really and he said that he might break up with me but he doesn’t know and me and him have broke up before and he asked me back out. I honestly don’t know what to do if he does break up with me I don’t think I will be able to handle it mentally or physically and I just don’t know what to do so could you please please help me I am thinking about suicide if he does help?

A. Dear Bridget, You shouldn’t take relationships too seriously. He’s just a guy, you’re still young, and there are more guys in the world that will treat you for what you are worth. If he said something mean to you, I wouldn’t except it. Confront him about it. Don’t waste your time with someone that hurts you. If you’re really considering suicide, I’d suggest you get some help. Call a suicide help line. They can help you better than I can. I hope I helped some. -Brit

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Q. I have a boyfriend and my best friend is a guy and when I hug him I feel bad for my boyfriend because I don’t think he likes it.

A. Dear Alicia, Put yourself in your boyfriend’s shoes. If you saw him hug another girl, wouldn’t you be kind of jealous? Even though he may know he’s only a friend, it may make him jealous because you are hugging your friend and not him. Talk to him about your friend. Let him know that you two are nothing more than friends and the only guy in your life is your boyfriend. Try to clear things up for him, it might make him feel better. -Brit

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Q. I am fifteen, and I think I am a lesbian. I’ve been thinking about my best friend, Sarah, a lot lately. I’ve been thinking about her in ways that “pleasure” me. I haven’t told anyone about my feelings toward Sarah before. I don’t know what to do. Should I risk my friendship by telling her I feel this way toward her, or should I not tell her and save my friendship.

A. Dear Beth, It is very normal to have gay and lesbian fantasies. It’s weird that you only have these feelings toward your friend. I would suggest keeping these feelings to yourself. Especially since you only have these feelings towards one person. Try to explore more and see if it’s more than just your friend you have feelings for. Don’t just settle because you’ve had lesbian feelings once. Read our article on homosexuality too. -Brit

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Q. Hey Brittany! Well,there is this guy that I really like and my friends tell me that he likes me too. I don’t know should I ask him out or do you think I should let him do it? please help me. Thanks!

A. Dear Confused, This one is up to you. I’m not going to tell you what I think you should do. It’s all up to you whether you really want to date this guy or not. Is he worth the wait for him to ask you out. Or do you not want to suffer for days or weeks on end waiting for him. Follow what you think is best. I can’t tell you how to run your life and for this matter your love life. All I can simply do is guide and/or advise you. -Brit

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Q. Dear Brit, I am 19 and my boyfriend of 2 months is gonna be 23 on September. (Age gap, I think is not illegal here in the Philippines) he said he loves me too much that he cant help himself getting jealous even for juz small things or anything that he thinks. I think he’s becoming paranoid of getting too much jealous on everything that he even broke up with me juz for being too jealous. After a couple of days, he confessed on me and says he’s really sorry and he juz realized that he really wants me back. We got back together. My problem is that I don’t know what to do to make him trust me. And one more thing, we’re always having sex whenever we see each other at any time and any place, I hate it but I cant make him not to do “it” when we’re together. I don’t want to get pregnant, but I don’t want to lose him also.. What should I do?

A. Dear Jein, I would suggest having a talk with your boyfriend. Tell him that there is nothing he should be jealous about. Guys can get weird about these things. Just explain to him how you feel about him getting jealous, and suggest some ideas on how he could control his jealousy. If you guys are having sex, I’d suggest going on birth control and using condoms at the same time. That way if the condom were to break, then you have back-up protection. If you don’t like all the sex you two have been having, then say something to him. A relationship is not all about sex, there is more to it. He needs to realize that. And don’t think that there isn’t a way you can not make him have sex with you. If you don’t want to have sex, then you two shouldn’t. He should not force you to do anything that you don’t want to do. -Brit

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Q. When I started my period why was it heavy?

A. Dear Princess, When you first start your period, things can get a little out of control. They could last long, or even for one day. It could be heavy or light. It’s all a matter of your body and how it functions. During the first and maybe second year of your period, it may be very irregular, but as you get older, it will start to regulate itself. If it doesn’t, I would suggest seeing a gynecologist, and he/she will know what to do. -Brit

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Q. Does everyone find love before they’re 18 years old?

A. Dear Laura, Not everyone finds love before their 18!!! It all depends on who you meet. The guy you marry could be your first love and you could be 22 (or even a lot older — input from Amy). Everyone is different, so don’t base your love life off of your friends. Some people fall in love plenty of times before they even reach 18. You are your own person, you find love when the time is right.

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Q. Hey, I have a question for you Brit. My question is a lil weird but its been bothering me. I’ve been w/ my bf for not too long but we have started fooling around some. I’m 17 and he’s 18. Anyway, what I wanted to know was what can I do to please him more when I’m giving him oral sex? I also had another question. My bf said he doesn’t feel ANYTHING when he wears a condom. I haven’t had sex yet but if I do decide to have it with him I am nervous about him not wearing one. I don’t want to ask him to because it wouldn’t be good for him and I would feel weird. However, I am on birth control. Would it be OK if we had sex with me on birth control but him not wearing a condom ??? ~ Thanx~

A. Dear Erin, As weird as this may sound, ask your boyfriend what you can do to make oral sex more pleasurable for him. He would know best, it is his body. Although birth control is pretty safe, I’d still recommend wearing a condom. He may not like it, but try different condoms out. They do make condoms that are thinner, but still protect you. * Make sure they are latex condoms. Remember that there is still a possibility of getting pregnant and the only way 100% safe way of not getting pregnant is abstaining from sex. Do you want to take that risk at only 17 years of age? I just hope that you make the right decisions. -Brit

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Q. I like this guy but he is going out with one of my friends, but I liked him first and she knew this. Plus I broke up with my BF (but not for him) but now I think I like my ex again. What the heck is wrong with me?

A. Dear DeSeandra, There is nothing wrong with you. Your friend obviously saw it as, you weren’t single and you had a boyfriend. She must have like that guy too, so she jumped on the chance. Don’t be mad at her. Now that you broke up with your boyfriend, you’re probably feeling kind of lonely, and you miss the company. You probably miss him the most. Don’t try to always be committed to someone. Friends are the best medicine, they can make up for everything you’re missing. So go and have some fun with your friends, you’ll forget all about being single. -Brit

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Q. Do people really change? I believe I changed! Is change good? Will your friends care? What do you think?

A. Dear Arrione, I don’t think people change, I believe that they grow(in more ways than one). People stay the same, but they grow, their attitudes mature and things seem like they are “changing.” Many people will have different opinions about whether or not people change. Your friends should except you and how you’ve “grown.” If they are your friends they shouldn’t care about how you’ve change, as long as your the same person on the inside. -Brit

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Q. Hey Brit, I’ve met this boy on holiday and we are sort of dating, I’m scared that he will find someone else as this relationship is long distance he tells me he loves me and he’s coming down to stay soon but I’m still worried can you help me? love Sarah

A. Dear Sarah, Long distance relationships have almost always caused problems for the people that are in them. They are not easy to maintain because you can’t keep tabs on what your significant other is up to. Talking always helps things. Try talking to your guy and explaining to him how you feel. He can reassure you that everything is OK and you have nothing to worry about. You obviously do not trust him, see if there is anything about him that makes you have this distrust. Dissect the problem. Has he ever cheated on a girl before? Or maybe it’s just that you don’t have very many chances to see him, so you don’t know what he’s up to. Try talking with him, it usually helps things. -Brit

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Q. I like this guy a lot but my mom can’t stand him. He asked me to be his g/f? Should I go out with him?

A. Dear Carla, There are gonna be guys that your parents disagree with you seeing. They are just being parents. They are afraid of something bad happening to you and seeing you have your heart broken. Be mature about the situation. Explain to them that they can’t choose who you hang out with or who you date. You are your own person and you make your own decisions. They can’t run your life. As much as they may not like this guy, they are going to have to accept the fact that you want to be with this guy. Let your mom get to know him, maybe she’ll have a change of heart. -Brit

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Q. Dear “Teen Health Secret”, Once again I have a question but it is not about sex. Well, my cycle was on and usually I’ll sneeze, and didn’t think too much about it. I went to the bathroom and there was this red glob on my pad that was about the size of the top of the pinky to the first line. I didn’t know what it was so I got a toothpick and took it to my room. I cut it open to see what it could’ve been but there was nothing but darker blood. I put on some gloves to feel it and it felt like a rubber band and it was cold. I put it up for just in case after I did my little experimentation. Do you know what this could’ve been, some thing important to my body or is this normal?

A. Dear Kristy, Don’t be so worried about your body. Seems to me, you experiment a lot. You’re growing up, things will be weird. Now about the blood clot. It’s a normal thing. The blood that comes from your vagina is not supposed to all be like if you were to cut your finger and bleed. Blood clotting from the vagina is normal, unless the clot is larger than a size of a quarter. Another suggestion is to visit the Menstrual section of Teen Health Secrets, go to: http://teen.health-secrets.net/menstrual.htm If any other questions or uncertainties pop into your head, be sure to tell your mom. She’d be glad to help, after all, she is a woman, so she knows what you’re going through. If she is uncertain, the best bet is to visit your gynecologist. He/she specializes in this field and knows the most about it. Hope I helped. -Brit (Teen Health Secrets’ sidekick)

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Q. What do you do if you have a bf that lives in a whole different state and then go out w/ another guy. I like them both what should I do???

A. Dear Sad Chickie, This is another one of those questions where you have to decide for yourself what to do. Long distance relationships are hard to maintain. Although you may have held on to this one, you still cheated on him (from what I can tell in your question). I’d say, even though it will be hard for you to break up with your guy out of state, go with the guy that lives close to you. With this guy, you’ll be able to see him more often and do things with him. But you should make your own decision, I can’t run your life for you. -Brit

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Q. I am 15 and I get these big bumps on my pubic area before my period and they stay there ’til my period is over. They itch. What does it mean? #2, I think I am ready to have sex. What am I suppose to do? Just lie there? It is with someone special. What are somethings I can do?

A. Dear L, for you first question, your pubic area could be irritated from something. Do you shave, that could be one cause. If they continue, see a doctor. For your second question, sex is something very special. If you’re ready, then take some precautions. Be aware that pregnancy is possible, and getting an STD is too. Be sure that you have two forms of protection in case one falls through. Condoms and the birth control pill are the best routes to go. That way the guy is protected and so are you. I don’t want to sound like a mom, but make sure that this is what you really want. And that you won’t regret anything that happened. Sex is just not sex, it’s making love to the person you love. -Brit

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Q. In October 1999 I met this guy who I really liked and I kind of got the feeling he liked me. We never saw each other that much except for at basketball games. I didn’t think I liked him at first, but I just fell for him. He ended up in this program with me last summer, so we talked a little bit and became acquaintances. Then I didn’t see him for a year. Now, normally, if I like someone, after a while, if I don’t see that person, I stop liking them, but with this boy, that never happened. I just saw him again for the first time in over a year this past weekend. He was really sweet and acted like he was my best friend or something. He gave me his phone number but told me to tell my friend to call him sometime. Then he told me that I can come to his games next year (we’re both going to college, I’ll be in Mass. And he’ll be in NJ). I still have his number in my possession and I did give it to my friend. She knows I’ve liked him for a long time, but I don’t! think she’s going to let that stop.

A. Dear Anonymous, My best advice is to follow your heart. He may have fallen for your best friend, but the girl of his dreams could be standing right in front of him (I’m talkin’ about you). Has your friend called him yet? Whether or not she has, I’d give him a buzz anyway. Start conversing with him regularly. Do things with him, get to know him better than you already do. His heart may be set on your friend, but with you spending so much time with him, he could get distracted and fall for you instead. Love is complicated, you just have to work with it and wait for it to come around. Don’t let him giving your friend his number stop you from hooking up with him. But remember to follow your heart, it gives the best advice. -Brit

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Q. Hey Brit, I am 15 years old and I am trying to lose 20 pounds, what time is the latest I should eat.

A. Dear Anja, Never avoid eating if that’s what you’re trying to accomplish. If you want to lose weight, just eat healthier. Don’t snack on the cookies and chips, instead go for some fruit or low fat snacks. Exercise too, that will help to burn calories, which help in weight loss. Don’t over exert yourself. Only work out for 30 minutes, 3-4 times a week. Change your lifestyle and it will help you lose weight. Never avoid eating, it’s possible that it can result in an eating disorder. Read our article on “Healthy Dieting”. -Brit

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Q. My family is so poor we don’t have enough money to buy a washing machine. So we have to do our laundry in our bath tubs. SO, I can’t take a bath. My friends don’t like me because they say I smell. What can I do about this hygiene problem?

A. Dear Megan, Well, for one your friends should not like you because you smell. You can’t help it that your family doesn’t have the money to buy what it needs. There has to be a way that you can shower or bathe when no laundry is being done. The only other option that I can think of is try washing your hair in the sink and giving yourself a sponge bath. I’m unsure of any possible ways to fix your hygiene problem. -Brit

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Q. Hi Brit, Presently my b/f broke up with me after a year in a half but I still have feelings for him.. He wrote me an email saying he was sorry for braking up wit me and he still likes me. The only reason he broke up with me was because of his friends. Should I give him another chance?

A. Dear Tracy, Guys are weird. Us girls love guys, but they are just weird. This is up to you. If you truly believe that they reason he broke up with you was because of his friends, then go for it babe. Don’t let me stop you. He may have just been getting a hard time from his friends and he wanted to look like a man, so he broke his relationship with you. Now that you’re gone, he misses you and wants you back. If you feel that the your love for him is still there and strong, go for it. Nothing can beat falling in love. -Brit

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Q. Brit, I don’t feel happy about telling my mom that I have started my period. So for the last two months I haven’t told her ,because she doesn’t take anything seriously. How can I tell her in a way that she will understand. Thanks Shannon

A. Dear Shannon, This seems to always be an uncomfortable subject for girls when it comes to talking to moms. I’d sit her down and talk about it. Her little girl is growing, she should take things seriously, especially this. This is a big step in your path to womanhood. Your mom should support you and help you in any way that she can. You never know until you mention something to her, so try it. She might react differently than you think. After all, this is a different subject than you telling her about your new boyfriend. -Brit

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Q. Brit, My best friend keeps asking me to have sex with him. I want to but I don’t want to rush. I’d rather wait till I get married . Plz help.

A. Dear Shannon, I like your plans for your future. Tell your friend how you feel. If he’s your best friend, he should understand. Other wise he’s not worth your friendship. If this is a hard thing to tell him, just work up the courage. You don’t want him to take advantage of you, I wouldn’t want that. Stick to your morals and don’t let some guy tell you how to live you life. Stay strong and always remember that if you do end up having sex, use protection. If he starts bugging you some more and you begin having doubts, read up on girls like Jessica Simpson. She promised her dad and herself that she is waiting until marriage to have sex. She wears a ring on her ring finger that her father gave her. So anytime sex comes up around her, all she has to do is look at the ring and she remembers her promise and stays strong. -Brit

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Q. I have found that although I started my periods at the same time as my bestmate her breasts are bigger than mine why is this?

A. Dear Natasha, Your breast size does not depend on when you started you period. Every girl’s body is different, so they will grow and different rates and will be different sizes. If you found a girl that was born on the day and at the same time and year as you, chances are that you two would be different heights and weights. No one is the same. Breast size usually depends on genes. Look at your mom and your grandma’s breasts. Chances are that you will end up with breasts that are about the size of theirs. Don’t be so worried you breast size. Your time will come. I’m sure you’re still young. You haven’t stopped growing yet. It has been proven that us women are still growing in our 20s and 30s. Give your body some time to grow. -Brit

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Q. Hi Brit, I have this problem when I am with my crush I get so nervous. I hate it, I mean I always tell myself not to be nervous around him, but it never works. What do I do?

A. Dear “A”, Girl, don’t get so nervous. I know it’s not as easy as it seems. But, just relax, have fun when you’re with him. You don’t want to ruin the time you guys have together. Treat him like you would a friend, just be yourself and HAVE FUN! Guys can get us girls shaken up so much. Now, if you like this guy, let him know. With you getting all nervous and shaken up, he’s gonna be like, “What’s up with her?” Keep your cool. Flirt back, maybe you’ll even make him nervous, hehe. Good luck with the guy! -Brit

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Q. I’m 16 years and I have liked a friend for the past couple of months, and recently I told him how I felt, and he told me he felt the same, well today I asked him out, just before we went to class, and he said yes. Well my problem is that we have been friends for about 2 years and he is my best guy friend, I really like him, but how do you go from great friends to bf/gf? According to all my friends he has no guts in stuff like this and I would be his first girlfriend, so how would I make the first move, and when? Thanks for any advice you can give me -Zoe

A. Dear Zoe, Now you know what it feels like to be the guy in the relationship. Guys have to deal with all of this stuff all the time. What would you want a guy to do, when would you want him to make the first move? Think about stuff like that. Don’t fuss over making the first move, work on getting to know each other better and strengthening your relationship. Then when you feel the time is right, jump right in. All he’ll have to do is follow. When a guy puts the first moves on you, usually you just follow along because you don’t have a problem with it. -Brit

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Q. My best friend just all of a sudden dropped me! I really miss her but when I try to talk to her she walk away or shoots me down! what can I do?!

A. Dear Helpless and Lonely, Everyone goes through a time in their life when they need a break from things. Looks like your best friend is there. Maybe something happened between the two of you that upset her. Even a rumor could have made her feelings change. I’m sure you’ve tried talking with her, but keep trying. Keep trying until she gives in. You can’t fix what’s wrong unless you know what’s wrong. Keep on her like you mom does with you about doing your chores. Eventually she’ll give in because she sick of you asking her what’s wrong. Talking with her should clear things up, and whether she wants to talk or not, you two should. Sounds to me like you’re heartbroken by how she’s been acting and you don’t want to lose her. Just keep on her butt, and I’m sure you two will work things out. -Brit

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Q. Dear Brit, I don’t know what to do about this situation. I like this guy and I know that he doesn’t like me, but he is a player and he wants to get a piece. I really like him but all of my friends think that he is a total jerk and that if I go for him that he is going to hurt me once again. PLEASE help me!!

A. Dear anonymous, This guy has a rep for being a player. Don’t waste your time with him. You may think that he may have change, but somewhere along the line he’ll break you heart. You’ll put so much into the relationship and you’ll get nothing back. I’d go with what your friends say. You’re just going to get hurt. Don’t let him fool you. There are plenty of other guys out there, don’t waste your time with one that will hurt you. -Brit

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Q. I’m growing my fringe out! My hair is about shoulders length, and fringe is a bit longer than my eyes. How long will it take to grow out?

A. Dear Steph, Hair grows at different rates for people. I would suggest getting it trimmed every few weeks to cut off the dead ends. It will make your hair healthier and more susceptible to grow. I can’t give you an exact date of when you fringe and hair will be the same length. My bangs took about 2 or 3 months to even out with my bangs, but that’s me. Just be patient and before you know it, your hair will all be the same length. -Brit

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Q. Hey Brit I have a huge problem that I can’t ask my mom about cause if I do she’ll get mad. I really want to have an intimate relationship with a guy I want to be able to have someone to love and be with. The problem is I am only 13. Is there something wrong with me? Why do I feel this way?? I know that nothing like that will ever happen cause I am fat and ugly and have NO friends how can I fulfill my feelings?? From Feeling Love

A. Dear Feeling Love, This feeling had to evolve from something else. Sounds to me like you and your mom are not very close. As much as it sounds weird, those feelings that aren’t there between you and your mom are being made up by these new feelings that you feel. You also seem to be a little down about something else. Your self-esteem is low (no offense, I’m just analyzing and helping you). Everyone is beautiful in their own way, whether it be looks, personality, or sense of humor. Just because you are overweight, doesn’t mean that you can’t be beautiful and have friends. As much as you wouldn’t want to try talking to your mom. Create a more open relationship so you can keep that for the rest of your life. You should be able to talk to your mom about anything, without her getting mad. I could see if she gets upset, but she’s your mom and she should be there for you. Especially during your teenage years. Those are the hardest years you have to live through. Try and talk to your mom and decrease the size of the gap between the two of you. -Brit

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Q. I’m 17 and very skinny. My boobs have hardly developed and it made me feel miserable. Is it normal and what should i do to enlarge them?

A. Dear “D”, I wouldn’t recommend getting breats implants. Especially at the age of 17. Your body is still growing, give it time. Just because you don’t have boobs, doesn’t mean you don’t have a great body. Don’t focus on all of the bad things about yourself that you don’t like. Instead, think of all the good things about yourself. You were given this body, you’re gonna have to learn to accept it and love it. I wouldn’t recommend having any time of enlargement done to your breast. Let your body finish growing, you still have a few more years. If you are truly that unhappy with your breast size, then talk to your mom about it. Don’t get discouraged over something like this. There are plenty of girls that are going through the same thing you are. -Brit

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Q. Dear Brit, When I was in 1st grade, I had a huge crush on this boy. He left school the next year becuz of medical probs, and now he’s coming back. My best bud is making fun of me cuz she thinks I still like him. I’m really upset and I’m afraid a friend of hers will tell everyone and the rest of middle school will be ruined. What can I do to prevent that? Embarrassed

A. Dear Embarrassed, You and your friends as well should know that what happened in 1st grade should not effect your future. You were in first grade, you’re now in middle school. You’ve moved on I’m sure and found some other cute boys to crush on. If your friends let word out that you used to like this boy, don’t let it bug you. By showing them that it doesn’t bug you, they’ll realize that they are wasting their time by teasing you. Just brush it off. Everyone has had an embarrassing moment. If your friends mention this one, bring up something embarrassing about themselves. It may seem kind of cruel, but then they’ll know what you felt like. Give them a taste of your own medicine. -Brit

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Q. I’m very tall for my age, (5 ‘5″ and I’m almost thirteen). The tallest boys in my class are about 5 feet tall. I know height shouldn’t matter but I can never get a date, much less dance, with a boy my age! Is there anyway to appear smaller or feel better about my height?

A. Dear L. N., Don’t be so worried about your height. If you were short, you’d be wishing you were tall, believe me. I’m 16 and 5’3, I wish I was taller. It wouldn’t matter how tall you are, chances are that you wouldn’t be happy with your height anyways. Right now you’re at an awkward age where everyone is growing and everything is changing. Boys grow alot slower than girls do. Girls hit their growth spurt usually around 6-8th grade. Guys, on the other hand, hit their growth spurt around 7-9th grade. Right now you may think you’re tall, but give it a few years, the guys will catch up and pass you right up. Remember, you were given that body, and you have to live with it for the rest of your life. Learn to accept yourself for who you are, don’t worry about the fuzzy details, that you may think are flaws. Those flaws make you who you are, they are what separate you from everyone else, what makes you different. Learn to love yourself!!! -Brit