Being shy is a tough thing at any age, but especially hard if you are a teenager. It’s common for adults to be shy too, but you probably don’t notice it that much. If you’re sick of hiding behind an invisible wall of safety, follow these steps to leave shyness behind and come out of your shell. Here’s how to get started:

1. Make a commitment to yourself to step away from shyness.
2. Take notice of the situations where you feel shyness holding you back most strongly.
3. The next time you are in this situation, do something just a little bit more outgoing than you would normally do (smile, make eye contact, ask a question, etc.)
4. Relax and remember that mistakes help you learn and we all act like a geek at times.
5. Repeat steps 1-4 until you have reached your desired level of “outgoingness”.

Tips

1. This can be a really tough process, don’t give up, even when you get discouraged.
2. Once you cycle through the steps a few times it gets easier and easier.
3. It takes a lot of practice, hard work, and guts to get over shyness.

Practice
Allowing myself to be more outgoing didn’t happen overnight. I had to practice. I had to start with small, easier things (smiling at people seemed to work at first), and slowly work up to harder things (starting conversations with girls or guys). Just like in sports, some people are born with ability and some people have to work hard to develop it. It’s the same thing with being shy.

Hard Work
There will be times when it just feels impossible to say “Hi” to someone you like or to give someone a call. That’s where hard work comes in. You need to understand that it’s in those moments that you have the best opportunity to learn. Giving it a shot, whether you end up “succeeding” or not during those tough times will get you one step closer to beating this thing.

Guts
Basically it comes down to taking chances and risks. Do you have the guts to do this? I know how scary it can be to stretch yourself beyond your comfort zone (I’ve been there). It’s OK to be afraid. Having guts means having the ability to control that fear and do it anyway.

These ideas are what I learned from my experiences with shyness. We’d really like to hear about your experiences and ideas. Please share your wisdom in the message board. What was your experience with shyness like?

Check out Self-esteem, sometimes it takes just a bit of self-esteem to overcome shyness.