Sexual FAQs – V
Q. Are vaginal secretions normal?
A. Yes. It’s normal to have secretions at times of the month other than your period. These secretions keep the vagina clean, help prevent infection, and provide lubrication during sexual arousal and intercourse. You may notice clear sticky discharge about 2 weeks after your period. This is very normal and is a sign that you have ovulated. (Which may come in handy when you want to get pregnant).
If your discharge itches, burns, smells bad or changes color, you should see a health care provider promptly since you may have an infection. Don’t stress over it, not all infections are STDs and even virgins get yeast and bacterial infections.
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Q. If two people test HIV negative, can they still give HIV to each other? What about virgins?
A. Theoretically, two people who have tested HIV-negative twice (the tests being done 6 months apart) and are monogamous and don’t share needles with anyone else run virtually no risk of having or exchanging HIV. The same goes for people who have never had sex or shared needles with anyone. The problem is that these situations are more theoretical than real, since it’s impossible to know everything about someone else’s exposure or history, like if their mother is HIV positive and if the virus was transmitted via the placenta or at birth. Again, it’s a matter of managing risks and deciding how much trust and risk you are willing to deal with.
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Q. How do I know if I’m gay?
A. Sexual feelings can be confusing, but often they’re more so if they seem to be directed toward members of your own gender. The main thing to do is relax, and remember that you don’t have to rush and “decide” what you are or what to call yourself. Sexual identities can develop over time. If you relax and pay attention to your desires, you will be able to figure out what turns you on and what you’re attracted to — without worrying about what to call it or what you “are”.
Most people do define themselves as lesbian, gay, bisexual, or straight; but ultimately people are more interesting and complicated than these names. It’s up to you to figure out how you want to identify yourself (as bisexual, lesbian, gay, straight, or whatever). Keep in mind that there are as many sexualities as people out there, and there’s one that is uniquely yours. For more information, check out some of the Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual/Transgendered resources on homosexuality.
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Q. How do I heal a hickey as fast as possible?
A. What is the fastest way to get rid of a bruise on the neck caused from kissing (of course, I mean a hickey). My mom will flip out if she sees it and it’s very obvious. Help!
Sorry, but there is no “fast way” to get rid of a hickey. In fact, there is no way to get rid of one other than by being patient. Just as you cannot make a bruise on your arm go away quickly, you cannot make one on your neck disappear.
Of course, you have a range of cover-up options, such as make-up, and creative uses of shirt collars, scarves, and turtlenecks in the winter. You may be able to disguise the hickey for a few days until it becomes less noticeable. Or, you can act like there’s nothing wrong and be careful not to draw attention to the hickey. Maybe then your mom will not notice.
Chances are she will notice. What makes you think your mom will “flip out?” Does she even know that you have a girl or boyfriend? Remember, your mother went through the same thing when she was a teen. You could even ask your mom about the hickey before she asks you. Let her know that you’d like to talk about your dating, so you know where you both stand on the issue.
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Q. I heard that guys have a female part, is this true?
A. Yes, kind of. Guess what, guys, you have a vagina. “It’s called vagina masculina, or male vagina,” says David Reuben, MD. It could have turned into a “real” vagina, but testosterone took care of that when you were still an embryo — back when your gender was not yet established. Now it’s a just a piece of tissue dangling from your bladder. “Every man has one,” says Dr. Reuben. You have nipples for the same reason. Men have hymens, too, sitting uselessly near the prostate gland. If you really want to know more, pick up a book on embryology.
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Q. We had sex with our clothes on, could I get pregnant?
A. No, not really. I can’t assume what you mean by “sex”, but if you had ‘sex’ in your jeans, underwear or bathing suit, there’s no way you can be pregnant really — this would imply that there was no penetration by the penis. (This is not considered sexual intercourse, of course, many people call it “dry sex”). Sperm can’t swim through clothes. I am not talking about mesh clothes, then I don’t know. THIS is not a method of birth control however.
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Q. He “came” outside my vagina, could I be pregnant?
A. It’s not very likely. If the sperm was deposited very close to the opening of the vagina, there is a small chance they could make it inside the vagina, but not very likely. They still have to swim a long way from there. If the sperm wasn’t close to the vagina (like on your thigh or leg) than the answer is probably not. BUT, please don’t make a habit of this, you can use a condom if you are in that situation and there is no penetration involved. Then you will have protection.
The high failure rate of a guy “pulling out” makes this ‘situation’ NOT a form of birth control by any means. This is due to the lubricating presence of pre-ejaculate fluid, which leaks out of the penis before ejaculation. In many cases with many people there are more than enough sperm to impregnate a female. That’s probably why there are so many of us here on this planet. Bottom line: Use birth control methods that work, see Birth Control. Also, see “Can I Get Pregnant If…”
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Q. Can I get HIV from kissing?
A. Saliva doesn’t transmit HIV as far as we know, although the virus has been found in saliva of HIV infected people. It is not very likely that you would get HIV from kissing, but it may have happened to some people, I will check with the CDC. There are four fluids that can carry and transmit HIV: blood, semen, vaginal fluids, and breast milk. See HIV and Bodily Fluids.
It is, however, theoretically possible to contract HIV through kissing. If both partners have cuts or sores in the mouth or bleeding gums, infected blood could possibly be exchanged. However, in practice this is unlikely. There is something about saliva and the environment of the mouth that is inhospitable to the virus. Like all safe sex, kissing is a matter of managing risks. If you are aware of cuts or sores in your mouth, it is best to abstain from “deep kissing,” but in general kissing is one of the safest sexual activities – besides phone sex, but that is for another page (-:
