Sexual FAQs – Page 16

This is probably the most frequently asked question I get from readers, okay male readers:

Q. How big should my penis be for my age?

A. The size of your penis is simply determined by genetic traits, which you inherited from your parents, so ask your father or an older brother about how he developed if you are very concerned. There is not much you can do to increase or decrease the size of your penis, it will develop into its adult size as you change from a boy to a man through the process known as puberty.

Most boys start the changes of puberty between 10 and 14 years of age, though a few will start earlier or later than these ages. First, the testicles begin to enlarge and then hair starts to grow around them. The penis then starts to enlarge, first in length and then later in thickness. Though there is much normal variation, the final penis size is reached four to six years after the testicles first started to enlarge.

There is a chart showing age, race and average penis sizes on this page called: Penis Size, hey, you guys asked for the information.

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(Yes, this was on another page, but it kind of goes with the first question on this page, so I put it here too.)

Q. The skin on my scrotum (balls) is getting darker. Is this normal?

A. It IS normal for skin over the scrotum to get darker as you change from a boy to an adult (puberty). Darkening of the skin over the scrotum is actually one of the first steps of puberty. It usually occurs at the same time the skin over the testicles changes from a smooth appearance to a more rough appearance (called stippling).

Also at this time, the testicles will begin to enlarge. These changes are all the first visible signs that puberty has begun. The darkening of the scrotal skin is perfectly normal and will be followed over the next few years by even more dramatic changes: adult pubic hair, growth of the penis, hair in the armpits, larger and stronger muscles, facial hair, and growth to an adult size. These changes are all determined by factors called genetic traits — these traits come from your parents and determine how fast these changes will occur and what the final results will look like. Good question, I get that one a lot also.

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Q. How do I insert a tampon? The instructions that came with them don’t help me much, am I stupid?

A. You are not stupid. The information included in the box by tampon manufacturers is usually too vague to be of much use to young teens wanting to know how to insert a tampon. If a young teen has trouble inserting a tampon, she usually has no where to turn for guidance, (so she often writes to me). Tampon manufacturers seem to be more concerned with not offending people (who will never use their product anyway) than with educating people who need the information. They appear to feel we are too embarrassed by the subject of menstruation to need or want to know all the facts concerning tampons. That has been my observation about this subject. Now to answer your ‘insertion question’.

The vagina is a ‘potential’ space. The walls of the vagina are normally in contact with each other — they are touching in other words, unless something is inserted between them, contrary to what most anatomy illustrations would appear to indicate, showing it as an ‘open’ canal. See illustration on page 15 of the FAQs. The opening into the vagina is called an orifice, as are other openings in your body. The vaginal opening is normally closed. It is important to realize that the vagina isn’t a hole or cavity inside the body. When something enters the vagina, the body must make room for it, no matter how small it may be. Hence, the TAMPON!

The vaginal and pelvic muscles of the first time tampon user are likely to be inelastic and weak from lack of use as she is often a virgin. This means the vagina will resist the insertion of anything, including a tampon. You may feel the muscles tighten as you try to insert a tampon for the first time. Why? Here’s why…

When we are nervous our muscles contract as a defense mechanism, to protect our internal organs from injury. When a girl is nervous about inserting a tampon, her vaginal muscles may constrict making insertion of a tampon painful or impossible. The vaginal and pelvic muscles can play an important role in the insertion of a tampon, or the inability to insert one. The vaginal and pelvic muscles of the first time tampon user are most likely to be inelastic and weak from lack of use as she is often a virgin. Muscles that go unused for any length of time loose their elasticity and strength. (More on Kegel exercises soon).This is usually why the vagina will resist the insertion of anything, including a tampon, especially without any lubrication.

If you have difficulty inserting even the slim tampons, you may find using a small amount of lubricating jelly, KY Jelly (not petroleum jelly) on and around the tip of the tampon and the tube will help with insertion. When the tampon has been inserted correctly, you should not feel any discomfort. IF you don’t have any KY Jelly on hand, use some water, that does work, and it’s better than dry.

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Q. I can feel the tampon inside of me, is something wrong?

A. Yes, when the tampon has been inserted correctly, you should not feel it or any discomfort. If you are able to feel the tampon, it probably has not been inserted far enough into the vagina and from time to time it happens to all women. Remove that tampon and insert another one if your menstrual flow is heavy enough. Maybe your menstrual flow was not heavy enough and that is why the tampon would not go inside all the way. Use a panty liner and wait until there is more flow which will help with insertion also.

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Q. What are feminine deodorants and should I use one?

A. Women should NEVER use deodorant feminine hygiene products. IMHO. The camouflaging scents are created with chemicals, which should NOT be used on or near your vagina.. Some woman are very sensitive to small amounts of some chemicals.

If you are experiencing a problem with odor during your period, this can mean you’re not changing the napkin or tampon as often as you should, OR you may have some kind of infection, not related to your period.

Odor is usually caused by bacteria. If you have any strong vaginal odor, see a gynecologist or go to a women’s health clinic or even a planned parenthood health clinic.

The vagina is always home to several different bacteria strains. There are always both beneficial and harmful bacteria are present in the vagina. The idea is to be able to keep them in a normal balance and your body knows how to do this if you don’t interfere too much. The good bacteria normally keep the bad bacteria in check, when they don’t, infection can occur. A yeast infection is an irritating but less severe example of what happens when the bad bacteria don’t keep the normally found yeast in your vagina in balance. If you want to read about Toxic Shock Syndrome, go there, but remember it is not a very common infection anymore, the tampons that caused this were taken off the market years ago. I am old enough to remember them, they were called “Rely” and were made of a foam-substance.

Women should not assume that since a feminine hygiene product is available to them at their local store that it is safe and okay to use. Products like scented douches and scented tampons and pads are totally unnecessary and can actually irritate the heck out of you!

The vagina is self cleaning, that is what ‘normal discharge’ is doing. Anything that interferes with the process by killing off beneficial bacteria or changes the vaginal environment (the pH) in any way, increases the chances a woman will develop a vaginal infection. Those douches and sprays were probably invented by men to increase sales to companies that made other products for women. You do NOT need any.