Sexual FAQs
Q. What is the difference between a male and female orgasm?
A. T he most obvious difference in orgasms is that male orgasms are usually accompanied by the ejaculation of semen. Ejaculation involves the secretion of semen into the urethra (urinary canal) and a rhythmic contraction of pelvic muscles that forces the semen out of the urethra.
In males sometimes orgasms occur with or without ejaculation. When men have orgasms without ejaculation, the pelvic muscles contract and you feel like youre having an orgasm, but the semen is prevented from being secreted into the urethra. Less commonly, the semen is pushed backward into the bladder during orgasm and appears as milky fluid that comes out during urination after sex. This is called retrograde ejaculation and happens occasionally when men try to prevent ejaculation during orgasm and is usually not a sign of a disorder. However, retrograde ejaculation does happen more frequently in people with diabetes or after surgery, causing damage to the nerves around the penis.
During orgasm for a female, the rhythmic contractions take place within the pelvic muscles as well as the walls of the vagina. In most women, there is no fluid ejaculated during orgasm. Another difference between male and female orgasm is that women do not experience a refractory period and may have multiple orgasms with continued or additional stimulation.
Check out these articles: Female Orgasm and Male Orgasm
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Q. I read that there were phases of an orgasm, is this true?
A. Yes! The four phases of sexual response are: arousal, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. Arousal, or feeling turned on, is a combination of mental arousal and physical changes, such as a racing heart, rapid breathing, flushing, increased sensitivity in the genital area, erection of the penis, and swelling and lubrication of the vagina. During the plateau phase, sexual and muscular tension intensifies. During orgasm, sexual pleasure peaks and sexual tension is released. The fourth stage is resolution, during which there is a gradual return of the body to its baseline state accompanied by a sense of warmth, pleasure, and relaxation. After orgasm and ejaculation, most males are unable to have another orgasm for a period of time. This refractory period depends on age (younger men can need only minutes to fully -recover” and older men may need an hour or more) and differs widely between men.
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Q. How long does sperm live after ejaculation?
A. Although sperm can live for many weeks in the testicle, sperm remains capable of fertilization only for about 24 to 48 hours after ejaculation. YES, they have lived as long as 6 days in some studies, so I am sure someone will correct me on this. No, they can not live on your jeans if they are deposited there and the semen is dry. (Remember that blue dress in the news?)
The female egg is only able to be fertilized for 12 to 48 hours after ovulation. This may be useful to those who are trying to get pregnant. (Home ovulation kits are very accurate, btw).
People often use this information to determine when it is least likely to get pregnant with unprotected sex. These methods are called the rhythm methods of contraception. Rhythm methods are not reliable methods of contraception, and we DO NOT recommend this “method” for teens. Also, this does not prevent the transmission of STDs including HIV.
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Q. Do condoms “dull” my boyfriend’s sensations during sex? Every time he puts one on, he says he loses sensation, is this true?
A. I get this question a lot. It can take a while to get used to wearing a condom when you use a them for birth control or for STD protection. Some men report that they actually prefer using a condom because it dulls their sensations enough to slow down their urge to orgasm — and make sex last longer. Others, like your B/F, say that they can’t maintain an erection while wearing a condom because it desensitizes them or makes them feel entirely different sexual sensations.
After a while your B/F may no longer feel the difference between intercourse with or without the condom. Another suggestion is for you two to experiment with different kinds, brands and shapes of condoms. The thinner brands cost more, but are still just as effective and do provide for more sensation. Encourage him to experiment with different condoms, then you can make this a pleasant part of your sex together, not a burden.
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Q. When my husband and I have sex, sometimes I feel too dry inside and often it hurts. There are also times when I feel a pain in my belly when he is in too deep, any suggestions?
A. Don’t stress out over vaginal dryness. You might just need a vaginal lubricant and there are many to choose from, even the generic brands work well. You can find them in the pharmacy where condoms or spermicide are sold and they are not expensive. Most brands will assist the gliding process. However, it may also be that you are really not “excited” enough for intercourse, therefore more foreplay may be required.
Spend more time before the act getting interested and ready to participate. Kissing, fondling, caressing and slowly getting into sexual exploration may also be a part of the dance that’s lacking for you. If you have severe pain, seek medical help right away. It may be an infection, inflammation or condition that requires attention. BUT, tell him so together you can create the pattern that’s pleasing for both of you. Concentrate on what feels good for both of you; inside and out.