rape

Emergency Information -If you need help right now!

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telephone If you need help right away, in the United States you can call: 1-800-656-HOPE ( RAINN – Rape Abuse Incest National Network) and you will be connected to a rape crisis center near you 24 hours a day, every day of the week. If you live in the UK, see below…

About Rape
sad woman The rape of women and children seems to becoming more and more common, even though it is estimated that a majority of rapes, sexual assaults and incidences of sexual abuse go unreported. One of the reasons why it’s difficult for girls, boys, and women to report rape is because it often occurs between people who know each other, making it hard for the person to prove that it happened. The victim is also very fearful of not being believed or being blamed for the crime.

Some statistics state that the incidence of rape has decreased in the U.S. over the past couple of years. According to the U.S. Department of Justice the incidence of rape has decreased since the laws punishing rape perpetrators have gotten tougher. But it is hard to really find the true statistics since this crime so often goes unreported.

An estimated 80% of people who have been raped knew the person who raped them. Women ages 15 to 25 are the most frequent victims. Rape is not about sex to the rapist; it has to do with control and power.

Although exact figures are not available, we can make a fair estimate of the number of stranger or acquaintance rapes in this country each year. The FBI states that about 82,000 rapes are reported to the police each year in the United States. Those are primarily stranger rapes. It is believed as we have already stated that acquaintance rapes are much more frequent.

A survey of college women indicated that they had experienced acquaintance rape much more often than stranger rape, but they were more likely to report the stranger rape to the police. It is NOT know what percentage of rapes are reported to the police.

Whenever a person is forced to have sex with someone, a rape has occurred. It doesn’t matter if a guy rapes a stranger, a friend, his girlfriend, or his wife. Even if you have been intimate with someone before, no one has the right to demand a sexual act from you against your will.

According to the U.S. Department of Justice:

  • One of every four rapes take place in a public area or in a parking garage.
  • 28% of female victims reported that the offender was a stranger.
  • 70% of rapes occur between the hours of 6 p.m. and 6 a.m.
  • At least 48% of rapists were under the influence of alcohol or drugs.
  • In 30% of rapes, the offender used a weapon.
  • In 47% of rapes, the victim sustained injuries other than rape injuries.
  • 75% of female rape victims require medical care after the attack.

(All statistics are taken from: Violence against Women, Bureau of Justice Statistics, U.S. Dept. of Justice, 2001.)

Definition of Rape:

In the United States the definition of rape may vary from state to state, but it is most often defined as:

  1. Forced sexual intercourse
  2. Sexual intercourse against the victim’s will and without his or her consent.
  3. Sexual intercourse if the victim is mentally or physically incapacitated.
  4. Sexual intercourse if the victim is under the age of consent.

How Do I Get Medical Help?

hospital If you were assaulted recently, you may want to consider going to the hospital to have a sexual abuse evidentiary examination right away. This examination preserves evidence in case you decide to press charges. It is a time when you can get medical advice and medication in case you have contracted a sexually transmitted disease (STD). In the United States, the evidentiary exam is paid for by your state. Some survivors don’t seek medical care right away. Even if you were assaulted some time ago, it is okay to go to the doctor in order to get checked out for STDs, pregnancy, etc. Some local clinics may provide free or reduced rates for people who have been sexually assaulted but choose not to have the evidentiary exam.

Whether or not you want to seek medical help is your decision. The following information may help you in making that decision:

  • You are entitled to have an advocate from a sexual assault crisis center present with you to provide support during the exam.
  • The sexual assault evidence exam and follow-up treatment are paid for by the State. You should not receive a bill.
  • The exam is available to women and men. When children are assaulted they are often seen at one of the State’s Child Protection Centers. You may want to check with your local law enforcement agency about this possibility.
  • You can get an evidentiary exam even if some time has passed since you were assaulted.
  • If the assault just happened, try and wait until after the exam to shower or bathe, so that the greatest amount of evidence might be preserved. However, it is still fine to go ahead and have the exam if you have already showered.
  • If you have had any period of amnesia associated with the assault, try not to urinate until you get to the hospital (if possible) and tell the hospital you’d like to give a urine sample to screen for possible drugs. If you cannot remember what happened you may have been given drugs without your knowledge. (See our Date Rape Drugs section for more information.)
  • If you are still wearing the clothes you had on during the assault, it might be best to wear them to the exam and bring a change of clothing with you to wear home.
  • If you have already changed your clothes, you may want to bring the clothes you were wearing during the assault with you to the hospital in a paper bag. The clothing you wore during the assault will probably be kept as evidence. Even if the assault was some time ago, your clothing may contain evidence.
  • If you have just been assaulted, it may be helpful for you to call your local rape crisis center or sexual assault program to find out about which hospitals near you perform the exam.

What NOT To Do Before A Checkup- Important!

  • Do not wait more than 48 hours before going to the doctor or hospital.
  • Do NOT take a shower before the exam.
  • Do not change your clothes.
  • Do not eat or drink anything – (in case you were drugged).
  • Do not brush your teeth.

After being raped, the person often feels ashamed. It is only natural to want to feel clean and get rid of the memories by washing, but doing this may removed EVIDENCE. Also, eating or drinking will make it harder to detect any drugs that you might have been given to you by the perpetrator. The first 48 hours is the most important time for collecting evidence! Call a friend. Call the police! If you think you have been drugged, it is imperative that you get tested. This will be an important factor if and when you decide to press charges or get the police involved. Read about how you report an assault to the police. It is not as scary as seen on TV. It is done very privately and with respect. I know; it happened to me.


How Do I Report An Assault To The Police?

You may be thinking about reporting the assault to the police. In many jurisdictions, you may be able to talk to a detective or police officer about what happened to you without having to make an immediate decision about whether or not you want to press charges. You may not have a choice about charges being filed in cases of domestic abuse or child abuse. It is okay to talk with the police about an assault even if it happened some time ago.

Whether or not you want to report an assault to the police is your decision. You know what’s best for you.

You can call your local sexual assault crisis center and ask for an advocate to be with you when you report. Sexual assault victim advocates have special training in working with law enforcement to help you. They can give you support and make sure your questions are answered.

If you are speaking with the police and a sexual assault advocate hasn’t been called, you have the right to ask for one. If you are unsure whether you want to report an assault, in some jurisdictions you can meet with a detective to talk it over before making the decision. Call your local sexual assault crisis center for more information about law enforcement policies in your area.

If you have been assaulted you have the right to have a crime victim advocate at any medical examination or legal proceeding related to the crime, including any meetings with law enforcement officers.

If you are thinking about going to the hospital for an exam or talking with the police, you can call your you local rape crisis center and ask for an advocate to be with you. If you are at the hospital or with the police and an advocate hasn’t been called, you can ask for one.

You also have the right to an advocate to be there for support whenever you meet with a prosecutor (county attorney) or go to court.

In addition to the right to an advocate, you also have the right to a free medical examination (Sexual Assault Evidence Exam), paid for by the State in which you live or where the incident occurred.

How You Can Help A Survivor of A Sexual Assault ?

Most of us know someone who is a survivor of sexual abuse or assault. When someone you know tells you that she or he was sexually abused, sometimes it’s hard to know what to say. You might not want to pry, and at the same time you might want to express your concern. Your own feelings may make it difficult to be supportive of the survivor. Sometimes it’s hard to find the right words to express caring and empathy. A hug is a good start. talkingHere are some things that victim/survivors have indicated are helpful, supportive responses from people close to them. These are guidelines; they can help let the survivor know that you care and that you want to be supportive. Think of it as basic first aid: it probably won’t “fix” it, or make the trauma disappear, but it can help the survivor feel less isolated and more safe or supported.
We often use “she” or “her” to refer to the survivor, because women and girls are most often the targets of sexual violence. However, men and boys are also abused; the information here applies to both male and female survivors.
How To Help Someone:

  • Communicate these points:
    I’m sorry that it happened.
    I’m glad you survived.
    It’s not your fault.
  • Sexual abuse takes away the victim’s power and control. Afterwards, the survivor should be allowed to be in control and to make her own decisions. Even if you don’t like the decisions she makes, and even if they’re not the choices you would have made, you can best support her healing by supporting her decisions.
  • Many survivors blame themselves for the abuse. Tell her over and over again that no matter what she did, it was not her fault. She did not commit a crime; the assailant did. No one asks or deserves to be raped.
  • If she feels guilty for not fighting back, tell her that no matter what she did when she was raped, she acted in the best manner she could. Fear often paralyzes people. Sometimes it feels safer to “cooperate” or submit to an assault; this does not make her a willing participant. Submission does not equal consent. She did what she needed to do to survive.
  • Ask the survivor how she wants to be treated, especially when doing anything that may violate her personal space. Even if you mean well and want to offer comfort, remember that the person who assaulted her took away her control over her body. She may not want to be touched or accompanied; if she does, she can let you know when you ask. For example:
    “Would you like me to come with you?”
    “Do you want a hug?”
  • Be a good listener. Be nonjudgmental and non-blaming. You weren’t there; the survivor is the only one who knows what it was like.
  • Assist her in getting the help she wants and needs. This may mean providing phone numbers, transportation, information, etc.
  • Talk to someone else about your feelings about the rape. Sexual assault can also be traumatic for the friends, families, partners, and others close to the victim. You deserve support, too. In the United States, call the RAINN phone number: telephone 1-800-656-HOPE.

Some Guidelines To Follow

  • Don’t give advice or try to tell her what to do.
  • Don’t tell her what you would have done.
  • Don’t ask her if she did anything to “lead him on.” This includes asking what she was wearing, asking why she was with him, or why she didn’t fight him off, etc. The assailant made a choice to commit an assault; he could have chosen otherwise.
  • Don’ t prevent her from talking about the rape if she wants to. Nobody willingly “dwells on it.” If she wants to talk about it, she deserves to be able to do so. You don’t have to be available 24 hours a day; in the United States, you can suggest the Rape Abuse Incest National Network: telephone1-800-656-HOPE. They are available 24 hours, 7 days a week.
  • Don’t insist that she talk to someone about it. Talking to a stranger, even if it’s a counselor on a rape-crisis line, can feel scary and intrusive. Talking to someone close may not feel comfortable either. Not everyone finds it helpful to talk about it. She knows, better than anyone else, what will be most useful for her.
  • Don’t press her to report the incident to the police. Reporting is a very big step; it might require more time, energy, courage, and safety than she feels she has at this time. If she wants to report, do support her in that decision. If she is not ready to report, please respect that decision as well.
  • Don’t break her trust by telling others about it, without her permission. She should have the control over who knows, and over when and with whom she talks about it.
  • Don’t imply that it wasn’t “real” rape if she knew the person who assaulted her.
  • Don’t blame the survivor. It was not his or her fault.

Rape is a violent crime, it is a criminal act. Like other crimes of violence, there’s the potential that it can happen to any of us. While there are steps we can take to protect ourselves, ultimately it’s something that may happen no matter what we do.

Check out “Don’t Be A Victim” article. There are methods you can use to protect yourself and reduce the risk of becoming a victim of crime. See Dating Violence too, one out of three teens will experience some form of dating violence.

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Resources on the Web

Rape Crisis Federation of Wales & England (for our friends in the UK)

People Against Rape – (In the U.S.)
1-800-877-7252

Gentle Touchs Web
If you are rape survivor or have survived any form of sexual abuse, domestic violence, incest, or a hate crime we welcome you. You do not deserve what has happened to you! (This site has a long list of helpful links!) Gift From Within
An International Charity for Survivors of Trauma and Victimization. A wonderful resource. RAINN
Rape Abuse and Incest National Network

See Hotlines for more Hotline phone numbers in the USA.

Amy - Teen's Health Expert

By Amy - Teen's Health Expert

Discover the dedicated author behind Teen Health Secrets, an experienced expert committed to providing in-depth knowledge and guidance on various aspects of teen health, ensuring young individuals lead healthy, informed lives.