Premature Ejaculation

Premature ejaculation is a common complaint of many young men. Many of their partners feel frustrated by this situation too. Young men often become very sexually aroused quite quickly; touch their hand and they have an erection. While this is flattering for his partner, it’s not necessarily very satisfying for a sexual relationship.

By the way, the average male takes less than three minutes from the time of insertion until he ejaculates. According to the technical definition, premature ejaculation is ejaculation that occurs prior to when a man wishes, or too quickly during intercourse to satisfy the partner. This usually leads to the loss of a usable erection for the simple reason that their discharge has temporarily released a state of elevated sexual tension.

What can a guy do? There are a few very simple things that will help: First, he can masturbate before he goes out with his partner. This will make him able to last longer. (Just a idea, but it does work). Understanding male sexual responses helps. If a guy ejaculates quickly, he is going to lose his erection, and this “refractory phase” will last about fifteen to twenty minutes in a young man. There is really nothing either person can do to trigger another erection. (See “Masturbation” and phases of an orgasm for more.)

During the refractory phase he can stimulate his partner, including: kissing, cuddling, hugging, petting, stimulating breasts and genitals. After twenty minutes of stimulation she may be very sexually aroused and he will probably have another erection.

As a guy ages, his refractory phase gets longer. Many guys learn to control ejaculation by practicing Kegel exercises” on a regular basis. Go to Kegel Exercises for more on doing those.

Women often feel that they should be able to do something to “help” him or that they are doing something wrong. Basically, this is his ‘situation’, and he needs to solve it himself. But, you can talk to him about it and lessen the expectation that he must sexually satisfy you every time.

I get a lot of e-mails from young men who want to solve their premature ejaculation problems. Often, guys are not sure what is considered premature ejaculation. Although premature ejaculation is the most common ‘sexual dysfunction‘, it is very difficult for them to discuss with other guys. A man who can’t get it up or keep it up, understandably feels like less of a man. This of course is just not true. If more guys were willing to talk about their problem, it would be easier to accept, knowing that they are not alone.

By the way, the average male takes less than three minutes from the time of insertion until he ejaculates. According to the technical definition, premature ejaculation is ejaculation that occurs prior to when a man wishes, or too quickly during intercourse to satisfy the partner. This usually leads to the loss of a usable erection for the simple reason that their discharge has temporarily released a state of elevated sexual tension.

According to University of Chicago sociologist Edward Laumann, author of a comprehensive United States sex study, 31% of men and 43% of women suffer from some form of sexual dysfunction. One-third of men said they had recurring problems with climaxing too early.

It’s important to understand that learning ejaculatory control takes time and practice. You may feel a little awkward along the way. Read “Kegel Exercises”, this exercise helps a lot of men with control. The issue, however, is really about control of the ejaculatory process and releasing when you feel ready. Men are usually more upset about the lack of influence over when they ejaculate.

Early release is not a major problem when it comes to reproduction. Lasting longer in bed serves no known genetic function. It is something that men must learn to do, as opposed to being innate.

First, one must understand what is happening to his body when he ejaculates. Orgasm consists of two stages. The first begins with the prostate gland, which encircles the urethra like a tiny donut above the base of the penis. This contracts and releases its fluids, along with the contents of the seminal vesicle, into the urethra. The second phase occurs when the pelvic muscle contracts strongly around the bulb, forcing the fluid out under considerable pressure. Men should be aware that it is possible to ejaculate without having an orgasm and vice versa.

The good news is that this is a problem that is highly curable, providing the man is willing to get help and invest the time and effort needed. It is believed that 80-90% of men are able to learn better control through therapy.

Masturbating before intimate contact helps a lot of men who tend to complain of premature ejaculation. The first step to lasting longer is to become familiar with oneself. Be comfortable with your body, its sensations, and the feelings leading up to orgasm. You should learn and be able to predict when the orgasm will occur. This will prevent it from creeping up on you and taking you by surprise. This will also help you do what is necessary to prevent you from reaching that “point of no return.”
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For more, see the phases of an orgasm, masturbation, and of course, visit: