How To Masturbate For Women
How do women masturbate? Most women orgasm from stimulation of the clitoris. Many others can only orgasm from vaginal penetration or G-Spot stimulation. Remember, there is no wrong or right way to masturbate, everyone is different and we all respond differently.
First, Relax as much as you can. Ensure your privacy; lock your door, turn off the phone, make sure you are alone. Find a comfortable position. Most women start out lying on their backs, legs bent and spread apart, with feet on the bed or floor. Remove some or all of your clothing; whatever feels right for you.
2. Explore your body. Run your hands along all parts of your body, lingering along areas that are more responsive to touch than others. Many women have very sensitive nipples and can orgasm from nipple stimulation alone. Look at your genitals in a mirror if that is “your thing” — if you feel shy about that — that’s okay too. Caress the different parts to see what feels extra good to you. You’ll know it when you find it. Touch your inner and outer labia, your clitoris, your vagina and your perineum. See “Your Vagina”, if you are new to this and to your anatomy.
3. Touch. Using one or two fingers, rhythmically stroke the different parts of your vulva, paying particular attention to your clitoris and labia. Use your fingers to pull your vulva apart and gently open your vagina. Experiment with different types of pressure, speed and motion. Try placing a finger on either side of the clitoris and stroking up and down, or placing two fingers on the clitoral hood and rubbing in a circular motion. Place a finger in your vagina and experiment from there.
4. Experiment. Try different types of touch: stroke, knead, pinch, or lightly pull your genitals and nipples. Try using one or several fingers, or the palm of your hand. You’ll find out what you prefer.
5. Fantasize. Recall an exciting previous sexual encounter or focus on that guy you have a crush on. If you need some extra help, look at a sexy magazine, think about your dream-date or read an erotic story. Allow your mind to wander.
6. Build up. Learn to hold onto sexual excitement by building up and then reducing or temporarily stopping the stimulation. Pay attention to how your body is responding. It will tell you the particular stroke that feels best and when to pick up or slow down the tempo.
7. Breathing. Breathing is important to excitement. Breathe deeply rather than hold your breath. This helps release the sexual energy, rather than fight it. Rock your pelvis as you would during intercourse. Rhythmically clench and release your PC muscle (inserting a vibrator can help too). See kegel exercises for more on PC muscle work.
8. Going over the edge. If your hand gets tired, give yourself a rest, switch hands, or try a vibrator. If you’re on the brink of orgasm, but can’t quite get there, try altering your breathing, or focusing on a really hot fantasy. Give yourself extra stimulation: caress your nipples, or try also thrusting your other fingers or a dildo in and out of your vagina. (But, don’t overdo it either).
9. Ride the wave and enjoy. As you begin to orgasm, continue the stimulation lightly through the orgasm, or stop if it feels like it’s too intense. Lighten up on the stimulation during the first extremely sensitive moments but keep it going to enjoy those little pleasurable aftershocks. Your first orgasm may feel like a blip or a blast, but the more you practice, the more variety you will experience.
10. Don’t worry. If you don’t orgasm on your first try. Keep practicing, or try some of the variations below. Practice the breathing technique making sure you are breathing from your belly, but don’t pass out.
Practice, practice, practice. With a bit of time you will orgasm! If you are get sore, give yourself some time to heal.
Helpful Hints
LUBRICATION! – Wet, Astroglide or any that are sold in most drugstore chains. I think Wet® makes great products. (in assorted flavors). See lubricants for more
1. Vibrators take some of the manual labor out of masturbation by providing direct, intense physical stimulation to the clitoris.
2. Water seems to help some women learn to masturbate. Lie back with legs spread in the bathtub and use a shower hose to direct the stream of water at your clitoris. Vary the pressure, and the pulsation. Be careful with water that is too warm! Alternate methods: slide your butt over the drain so your legs are up in the air and your genitals are up under the tub faucet (rather awkward but doable), or use Jacuzzi jets if you have them. (Of course, someone is bound to wonder why you are in there so long). Remember, this method may not stimulate you. Don’t give up!
3. Rub against something. A body pillow, a small pillow, the corner of some furniture, a dildo.
4. Dildos can be a pleasurable accompaniment to clitoral masturbation, as they offer the fullness of penetration and can also stimulate the G-Spot.
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Benefits from masturbation :
Masturbation can help relieve stress and:
- Relieve menstrual cramps
- Help insomnia (i.e. when a person is having trouble falling asleep)
- Stimulate the immune system to help build up resistance to common infections
- Release mood elevating hormones
- Help you become a better lover from knowing what you like and how
- You won’t catch an STD from yourself
- Makes many people calmer in general — and they tend to smile more 🙂
- For more on Male or Female Orgasm, see Male Orgasm or Female Orgasm. There are sexuality links in there also.
- For more on Sexual Health, check out the Sexual Health Library
- See the Sexual FAQ Pages for more answers about masturbation .
- Not alone, see Female Orgasm Positions
- For more on lubricants, see Lubrica nts – a masturbation must!
- Your Vagina — Get to know it Better!
- For honest answers about orgasms, sexual health, STDs and birth control , with hundreds of FAQs. See Sex Stuff
Recommended Reading:
Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving
For more than 20 years, Betty Dodson has been dedicated to taking
the shame out of masturbation. Dodson explains how anyone can learn
to fully enjoy the pleasures of self-love.
Orgasms for Two – by Betty Dodson Practical ideas for improving sexual skills so men and women can add extra dimensions of excitement and pleasure to their lovemaking, with drawings
What Your Mother Never Told You about Sex! – by Dr. Hutchinso n
Book: The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex: The Indispensable Companion to a Happy and Healthy Sex Life
For more books on sexual health see FAQ Page 24.